A Slippery Shelly Story - or a yarn of an oily kind.
My father was an oil man, albeit in Africa. These oil types usually tend to gravitate towards one another. So it was but natural that when my father came to Goa for good, it was just the done thing for him to gather a circle of oil men around him. One of his fast friends was Shelly. Shelly earned his nick name by virtue of the fact that that he was a dealer for Burmah Shell. The slippery bit came from the fact that he could oil his way out of any situation, no matter how sticky. Slippery Shelly is always welcome in our house because he is such an amusing fellow. He is our honorary 'uncle'. He has a fund of stories and is always interesting. More than anything, when we were children, we welcomed him with open arms because he always pampered us with small gifts and sweets and was full of stories which he told with gusto. Recently, one day in a reminiscent mood, Shelly told us how for months people in Goa were buying fuel for their automobiles which was under metered because the meters were doctored! This meant that the petroleum dealers were making huge profits. From the company allocated margins as well as by selling less than exact measure. Periodically, the pumps at any petroleum outlet are calibrated so that the amount of fuel that is being dispensed by each pump is exactly the same as that shown on the meter dial. This is done by the Inspector of Weights and measures. Often there are surprise checks meant to keep the dealers on the straight and narrow. The exercise of calibration consists of dispensing a fixed amount of fuel (say 5 litres as shown on the meter dial) from a pump into a measure can, usually brought by the weights and measures people. The can is of fixed measure and has a mark in it. If the fuel does not fill the measure can up to the exact mark in the can, if it is either less or more then the pump needs to be calibrated. The calibration is done mechanically and is a process of trial and error. The pump body is opened to expose the calibration wheel which is nothing but the head of a screw. The wheel is turned to loosen or tighten the screw to regulate the amount of fuel flowing out of the nozzle of the pump. When the desired setting is obtained, a special wire is run through a hole in the wheel and a hole in the body of the pump and secured with a lead seal which has certain marks which are put on it with the help of special pliers. Any tampering of the seal is an offence which invites imprisonment. With the wheel secured, the amount of fuel delivered by the nozzle of the pump cannot be increased or decreased for a given metered value. One fine day, according to Shelly, a local con artist Caitan got hold of the inspector's pliers. It so happened that when the inspector was carrying out a surprise inspection at one of the local petrol station, the inspector's bag was open. Caitan, never one to miss an opportunity, quite coolly dipped into the bag and abracadabra, vanished with the inspector's pliers. Blessing the stars for the opportunity so unexpectedly thrown at him, Caitan waited for a decent interval and started doing the rounds of the petrol stations. He told the petrol station owners that he could doctor their pumps to deliver less fuel! He said that he was working with the full knowledge of the Inspector of Weights and Measures who sympathized with the petrol dealers who only made paltry profits for the huge investments they had made; and that the Inspector himself had given him his sealing pliers. Among the first to be carried away was young Jerry who was taking over the reins of the business from his ageing father. Young Jerry had doctored his pumps with Caitan's help so that they delivered twenty percent less fuel. Naik and Kamat soon followed. Likewise, a few other petrol dealers got ensnared by Caitan's wiles. Old Slippery desisted not because he was not tempted but because of his mortal fear of his wife.. She had warned him of dire consequences if ever there was a breath of any kind of scandal around him. (Well in addition to all his weaknesses another known failing of Slippery was his fondness for members of the opposite sex specially the younger ones. Wives tend to be jealous!) So things went on merrily for a few months until one fine day something happened to rock the boat. The Controller of Weights and Measures himself dropped in at Jerry's petrol station. He checked the amount of fuel dispensed by each of Jerry's pumps and then checked the seals on the pumps. His verdict was that the seals were fake. In quick succession, a few other petrol and diesel outlets were raided. He was obviously tipped off. In quick succession other petrol outlets in the city were checked and the offenders were nabbed. The pumps were sealed and the meter readings were taken and registered under the signature of the dealer. The Controller rushed to the Police and filed his complaint. Rumours and news have a way of spreading similar to wild fire. Soon Slippery got wind of what was happening and rushed off to Jerry's father's place. The old man, with tears in his eyes, pleaded with Slippery to save his son. The dealership, their main livelihood was in danger. Slippery promised to do his best. Immediately thereafter, the petrol dealers were asked to meet the Inspector at the local police station. They were subjected to intense grueling by the cops. Old Slippery came armed with his pump inspection register. Old Slippery got away by the simple expedient of showing to the inspector that his outlet had not been calibrated around the time when the forgery was made. The Police Inspector told Jerry and another couple of dealers that they were under arrest and detained them. In the meanwhile, frenzied efforts were being made, influence was used, past favours were recalled and money changed hands to get them off the hook. The P.I. did the vanishing trick and Jerry and his detained comrades in arms were forced to spend the night at the local police station. The only concession made to them was to allow them to sleep the night on their own bedding in the Inspectors ante-room. The next day, Jerry and his colleagues were released on bail. The court proceedings took a few years. They were given heavy fines and warned that if they ever repeated the offence they would be put behind bars. Hopefully, they have seen the error of their ways and have reformed. *[The characters in this story are imaginary though it has a solid base in incidents that did really happen in Amchem Bangarachem Goem. Any resemblance to any persons living or dead is unintentional and purely coincidental. However today's petroleum product buyers need have no fear as the pumps are electronically calibrated and any tampering will stop the pump]* Tony de Sa [*Published in Herald Mirror dated 09/11/2008*] -- With best wishes and warm regards, Tony ============================ Tony de Sa Ph: +91 832 2470 148 M: +91 9975162897 E: tonydesa at gmail dot com ----------------------------------------------------------- Things do not change; we change. - Henry David Thoreau ================================
