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Heart to Heart
By Ethel Da Costa
Goan women must seek solutions with intelligence
Dear Venita, Cheryl and the countless faceless women of Goa,
It pays to stay positive. If not for your peace of mind, then at least to
ensure the lifespan of your heart. Unfortunately, maintaining high morale in
the face of no-go situations requires strength of character, which we seem
to be losing slowly and surely, as Goa reveals her underbelly with a show of
brute power. Murder at Saleli, head-bashing at St Inez, robbery and rape at
Vasco, police manhandling women at Gram Sabhas or even Mario Cabral calling
women a `chunk of tempting flesh'... I can't forget the husband who slashed
his wife to death in their apartment, nor the doctor strangulated by his
son-in-law. I've seen violence first hand too and recently at Brittona jetty
whilst on a work errand. Examples of how drunk men - Goan, non-Goan what's
the difference? - hate the idea of a woman fighting back their show of
physical intimidation; extortion gangs who rip off the business success of
successful non-residents; unemployed youth hanging out at bars who harass
locals laying claim to public property..Blood, murder, threats, blackmail,
rape. Minor or adult. Is this the only solution a civilized society can
offer to claim we are moving forward? But then, aren't we also responsible
for having pushed the common man -- when government takes no action --
forcing them to take the law into their own hands when solutions fail?
Violence (be it physical, mental, verbal) is the coward's way of
intimidation. Violence does not require intelligence. To those who advocate
violence in their societies, in their homes, in their villages and in their
social and personal relationships as a way of life to lead by forceful
submission, hang your heads in shame. Because violence is an aberration. A
character fault. It is one's inability to deal with oneself as a rational
human being. And when a society teeters on violence, it marks the beginning
of the end of civilization. So, instead of being quick to bash teeth and
peel skin, why don't we learn to beat inadequacy, non-solutions, corruption
and despondency using the power of intelligence? Grey matter versus
ignorance. Common sense versus SSC failed greedy politicians. Short term
gains versus the power of long term planning.
Intelligent human beings are solution seekers. They mediate, they sit across
the board, they intervene, they forgive, they believe in the power of
positive solution finding. Be it garbage, Mopa, Saleli, Curca, Sonsodo,
public transportation, power supply, rainwater harvesting, roads, education.
Yes, at personal risk of failure and sleepless nights striving for solutions
even as you face dead-ends, especially when people with vested interests
work overtime to shut every door in your face. And when they can't get you,
break your bones even. Because the only way to breed an alternative system
of governance is to create an active army of thinkers, who will encourage
and support doers to build a better, efficient, forward thinking society.
Thinking youth are inspired by actions of example, not lectures.
Of course, it will require sheer willpower and patience. Not forgetting the
fear of rejection one deals with everyday of landing on our faces (enemies
are quick to celebrate failure so eagerly, no?). But battles are not won
through intimidation and rough words. Battles are not won through blackmail.
Battles are not won through brute physical force. Goa must learn to win her
battles through the ballot box. Through intelligent choices of candidates.
Rejecting the old order. Demanding a new fresh mandate of leaders with
vision. We need to set a new order of people with passion. Beginning as of
now, by supporting women with a conscious -- because good women build good
homes and thus ensure that their children are good human being too. By
supporting their issues to keep their environment and spaces together,
because a healthy community ensures a healthy society. I can only feel sad
for men who refuse to grow up and accept that women have moved far beyond
their comprehension and boundaries, using their brain, intelligence and
compassion to build and strengthen themselves to meet the challenges of the
21st century.
Cheryl, Venita and other several women I meet as I work and travel, must
empower themselves with information. Garner your strengths and your voices
into one powerful fist upwards. Because when women rise, ask questions,
define their turfs and demand solutions, nations fall or rise to rebuild.
That is the only solution to take Goa smoothly, constructively and
positively into the 21st century. It's time Goa put a woman Chief Minister
into the Secretariat. Savour it. If only just a thought..After all, the
Universe is a genie, what you desire, it reflects. (ENDS)
The Ethel Da Costa weekly column at:
http://www.goanet.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=492
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The above article appeared in the November 9, 2008 edition of the Herald,
Goa
