The Accidental Activist - Ladies Special By Venita Coelho
It was an India wide Mahaquizzer contest. When the results were announced I was told that I had come first in the 'Ladies Section'. Somewhat mystified, I asked why there was such a section to begin with. What did your sex have to do with your ability to answer quiz questions? 'We like to encourage ladies' said the organizer. At which point I enquired icily 'Why? Are we handicapped? Brains too small?' I turned the prize down. A week later I found myself in Singapore fending off a make up artist who was trying to glue tarantula size false eyelashes on me. I was in august company - there was Shobha De, the author, Loveleen Tandan who has just won an Oscar for Slum Dog millionaire, and debutant writer, Anita Jain. We were part of a festival of Indian literature and the make up was so that we could be shot for a magazine spread. But as I refused the eyelashes, fought off the inch thick make up, and expressed unhappiness over the hair do, I wondered at the irony. We were there to be part of a panel on 'Women Writers'. We all had strongly feminist views. And yet here we were, being transformed willy nilly into ultra glamorous, ultra feminine poster girls. My discomfort was intense. The amount of make up you are willing to put on your face has a direct relation to both your self image, and the compromises you have worked out with the world on just exactly how 'feminine' you are willing to be. It takes years, and unending struggles with the existing ideas of constraining feminity before you find your level of comfort with how you dress and make up. In the battlefield of gender inequality, how much you are willing to put on your face is actually a deeply political choice. False eyelashes? Ha. Over my dead feminist body. By the time the photo session was over, I was in a towering temper. The blissfully unaware organizers wanted us to appear with full make up, wearing designer clothes, to discuss women writers and their struggle. 'No' I ground out through gritted teeth 'I am washing my face. I am wearing my own clothes. And only then will I come to the event.' I did, and we went on to have a lively discussion. Shobha De started it off by commenting that very often she is the only woman on a panel. Invariably the host will introduce the men by their professional designations. Then turn to her and say 'now we have the glamorous Shobha De'. Glamour seems to be the criteria to judge women no matter how high up the professional ladder they are. Gender bias is not just a fancy word. We wade ankle deep through it every single day. I grind my teeth every time a particular LIC ad comes on air. It shows children declaring what they would like to be when they grow up. The boys plump for 'doctor' 'pilot' and 'engineer'. The girls, of course, are stuck with 'teacher' and 'beauty queen'. If you make it through the bias and manage to carve yourself a professional niche, then you are promptly stuck with a label. 'Woman writer'. 'Woman director'. 'Woman artist.' I am yet to understand how your body parts can possibly have anything to do with your being a writer, director or any kind of artist. In fact there are very few jobs for which you specifically need to be a woman. Therefore to have your achievements repeatedly measured by your cup size is very irritating. Nothing brings home gender bias more strongly than a stroll through a toy shop. And it is a depressing fact that the bias cuts equally deeply both ways. For boys there are guns, tanks, planes, cars. For girls there are Barbie dolls, jewellery sets, and make up kits that are marked 'for 3 years and above'. Three years?! Isn't that really catching them young? My two year old daughter, however, stubbornly ignores the glamour dolls, demands fast cars that go 'vroom vroom', and treasures an anatomically correct boy doll. I'm not sure that is entirely good news, especially not the last. But of this I am sure. As parents, one of the most important jobs we will do is to pick our way through the minefield of hidden gender biases, and make choices that will ensure that our children grow up being themselves, and not slaves to limiting ideas of what girls and boys should be or should achieve. If we pull it off, that's an achievement that will deserve a cup. A silver one with handles on. (ENDS) =========================================================================== The above article appeared in the June 16, 2009 edition of the Herald, Goa
