Poemoods:-3


Dr. Nandkumar Kamat



:Serving my son-Nachiketas:



OM Nachiketasayh Namah!

I saw his name in my dream,

Nachiketa-the heavenly fire of knowledge;

The creator of Kathopanishada;

THE BOOK of books;

Some atoms of that creation

Cycling in the biosphere for eons;

Might have entered my bloodstream,

To give me that dream

When I was sorting out mechanically,

Hundreds of names ,

to name my newly born son!

Every day he tests my patience,

The worst test comes

When he vomits, has diarrhea’

AABA, he calls me, to help him to the loo,

AABA  is a big bundle of false pride,

And massive ego,

The self righteous AABA-weighs the options,

Knowing that he is exhausted,

His muscles are aching,

AAba, AAba-Nachiketas again drags me,

Who is he?

I wonder -looking at him like a stranger,

How estranged I have become,

>From my own son?

My own flesh and blood?

He runs to the loo,

It would not easily get over,

Whole night he keeps me awake,

Making umpteen trips frequently,

Then the ritual of washing

And changing ,washing and

Changing!

Oh, GOD, I am so tired! TIRED!

Having brought a new life in the world,

I need to choose between,

My comforts and his wellbeing,

Things which appear simple, obvious

Are no more so,

He is testing me in every way,

I throw out all the tomes on

Child ethology, psychology;

I wonder about the

Fine texture of love,

The algebra of alpha males,

The calculus of compassion,

The landscape of altruism,

The subaltern narcissism,

I recall Mother Theresa’s soft wrinkled  hand,

On my  head in blessings,

Which perhaps I did not deserve,

Nachiketas loves to sketch Jesus,

Every wall, every inch of the house,

Every paper, pages of magazines

Carry HIS image,

HIS portrait hangs on our wall,

I See HIM somewhere in distance,

As a faint shadow,

when I wash and clean my son,

Again and Again and Again,

There are countless questions,

On HIS lips!

With  string of spontaneous teardrops,

Trickling down my cheeks,

AAba, AAba-Nachiketas is afraid….
He thinks that he has done,

Something wrong, mischievous,

But I weep for myself, for

My inability

To overcome selfishness,

My wickedness, sadism, weakness;

I give him a big hug, he smiles instantly!

When I serve my son,

Service becomes a divine revelation!

Profoundly intimate, spiritual,

It is a communion,

Of the father with the son, on the way to,

Incremental ego dissolution.

Shishu devo bhava!

Shishu devo bhava!

Tathastu! Tathastu!

AMEN!



June 28, 2010










-- 
Dr. Nandkumar Kamat, GOA

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