Aishwarya Rai and the Robot “Objection mi Lord, where is the saboot?” By Cecil Pinto
Last week was very exciting, what with the Common Wealth Games and the Ayodhya Verdict. Like everybody in Goa, and his brother-in-law, I have strong views on both issues. But I’ve decided to do a movie review this week. Mind it, a Hindi science fiction movie named Robot starring mega star Rajnikanth? This wasn’t the type of movie I would normally watch, except maybe later from a pirated DVD just out of curiosity. But then the rave reviews started coming in and incredible box office figures. And the trailer was quite fascinating. What was the decision maker was the glowing recommendation by friend, fellow movie buff and science fiction writer – Rahul Srivastava. When an anthropologist and world famous urban sociologist like Rahul, tells you to see a specific movie with your kids, you pay attention. So yesterday I dragged my reluctant wife and kids to Samrat-Ashok theatre for the 7.15 pm show. Inox would have been a better movie watching experience but after snacks and beverages a family of four ends up splurging about the equivalent of… well enough to buy half a bicycle. The Samrat-Ashok experience is a bit tackier but what does one really expect from a Rajnikanth movie. I was wrong, by far. Firstly the computer monitor display they use for booking tickets at Ashok is, I think, the same they use for the bigger Samrat theatre. You think you’re booking four tickets somewhere in the middle and you end up sitting in the second from front row at one extreme end from where the perspective is rather stretched. And maybe I’m being prejudiced here, but if you think INOX attracts some real louts you should see the crowd at Samrat-Ashok. Mostly middle class folks, but also a whole lot of cheap Indian tourists who talk on their phones, and to each other, throughout the movie. And sometimes in strange languages so you can’t even have the pleasure of eavesdropping. Of course everyone today has a huge display screen on their mobile so while they may not be talking they insist in texting and a bright glowing rectangle five feet in front of you can be very irritating. But it’s an Indian attempt at science fiction so maybe distractions will be welcome. I was wrong by far. But I am distracted by other thoughts. What if the ceiling of Samrat-Ashok collapses? Was Kalmadi involved in the contracts? Or Churchill? Was substandard material used? What if you dig under Ashok? You will get Samrat of course? What if you dig under Samrat? You will get Vishal Supermarket. Which is just a few years old, as is Talkie Town. Before that it was just Samrat-Ashok theatre. Which also I know was built in my life time. So what was there before that? If Samrat means Emperor then Emperor Ashok was responsible for the spread of Buddhism. Does that mean the theatre has Buddhist owners? I thought it belonged to the Zantyes, who are into cashew nuts. Am I going nuts? Are we all going nuts? Why does it matter what happened many hundreds of years back when life was different? Are we always going to hark back to the distant past and seek retribution? Who dares to guess where exactly Gods were born or died or played or prayed? Who can say for sure that Gods even exist? Is someone going to point out the exact spot where Lord Parashurama’s arrow struck in Benaulim? Could it be where the Benaulim Church is? Should we raze the church? Or is it the Lotus Lake or Salkachem Tolem? But then Kerala also claims it was created by Lord Parashurama making the sea retreat. Where exactly is the Garden of Eden and the exact spot where Adam ate his apple? Where is the exact spot where Lord Shiva beheaded the baby Lord Ganesha and replaced his head with that of an elephant? Can you point out to me the exact spot where Venus was born? Or the spot where the goat-god Pan gave Artemis her hunting dogs and taught the secret of prophecy to Apollo. Who recorded the presence of the Pandavas in the caves behind the St. Sebastian Chapel in Margao? Why are we confusing religious figures and mythological figures and characters from literature with recorded history? Why are we mistaking truth with fact? How do I explain this stupidity to my children? Shouldn’t jurisprudence be denied the liberty of making irresponsible and illogical leaps? Even a Rajnikanth movie, that stretches credibility, has an inbuilt logic explaining everything. The Robot story revolves around a scientist, Dr. Vasikaran’s, struggle to control his creation, an android robot Chitti, whose processor was upgraded to give it the ability to comprehend and generate human emotions, from further sociological mishaps. Both roles played with aplomb by Rajnikanth. The robot falls in love with a beautiful woman, Sana played by Aishwarya Rai, who also happens to be Dr. Vasi’s fiancée, which creates a conflict situation. A rival scientist, played by our childhood bad guy Danny Denzongpa, who has aged elegantly into a sophisticated villain, infuses into Chitti a red chip that makes him evil. The robot goes about making multiple clones of himself and declaring war on the world. A simple enough story told with glitz and panache to rival the best of Hollywood. Aishwarya Rai is at her sexy sultry best and just that one phenomenal song, a costume fiesta picturised against the backdrop of the spectacular Machu Picchu site in the mountains of Peru is enough paisa vasool. And it’s just one of many thoroughly enjoyable songs. Aishwarya Rai is ‘rounded’ just enough. I detest those skinny Size Zeros - like Bebo or whoever. A man needs some flesh. There’s comedy, action, drama, plot… but mainly mind boggling effects and stunts arranged by Yuen Woo Ping, Stan Winston Studios, Industrial Light and Magic… the best from around the world. Terminator meets Transformers meets Bicentennial Man meets Matrix meets Rajnikanth starrer meets Bollywood. An overdose of movie masala - that you will not regret. The lazy guys at the snack counter at Samrat-Ashok do not have Rs. 5/- change, so carry some. Which makes you miss the super efficient young people that man all the counters at Inox. The movie is called Endhiran in the Tamil version because the state gives entertainment tax exemption to movies with Tamil names. Perhaps the Goa Government should give income tax exemption to Goan Catholics who give conventional names instead of those atrocious combi-names to their children. But enough about movies and judgments, this is the week for sports. In the words of President Prathiba Patil, “Let the games BEG - IN!” ---------- The column above appeared on Gomantak Times dated 7th October 2010 ======
