Title: Don't Be Cruel! By: Cyprian Fernandes Source: Goan Voice UK Newsletter, 3 July 2011 at www.goanvoice.org.uk
I offer these thoughts not because I am a saint or that I take the high moral ground, nor is it because I am holier than the next person. I have my own faults and foibles. Generation after generation, there is one trait in our gene pool that does not seem to die out. It is the gene responsible for back biting, pettiness, point scoring, gossiping, stirring, finding fault unnecessarily, trouble making, making one insidious, and victimising one person to get to another. It is also the gene that does not allow some the grace of quiet and considered debate instead of the personal abuse and vitriol. Abuse comes cheap, it does not cost anything. This may not be restricted to any one community but I suspect that it is evident more than most among Goans. At least that has been my experience for more than half a century. Surely, it is not still happening in this day and age? Surely we are a much more educated lot, much more tolerant, kinder to the least amongst us, we have God on our side, we have children who are brain surgeons, CEOs of multi-billion dollar companies, we are surrounded by wisdom, clear thoughts and kindness to every living creature? Are we not? If yes, why then do we hurt the people we love most? Living in Sydney, Australia, I encountered small doses of this gene in the early 1980s and 1990s. It was the behaviour that turned embarrassed children away from the GOA. They could not understand their parents' pettiness. It is a gene that split families, broke long-standing friendships, polarised groups of people and now as some edge to the twilight of their years, there is no forgiveness, no remorse. I saw some of the worst examples from Goans in other countries. I had forgotten about it all until I began reading the vitriol on the current MOI debate, issues in the Goan media, and personal attacks in GoaNet. Contributors to the Letters to Editor pages don't hold anything back either. Don't make the mistake of thinking that it is all bad. On the contrary, I am grateful to these mediums for some excellent thinking. Life is too short for anyone to indulge in pettiness or attempt to score a cheap point in the process striking at that person's innocent heart. Stirring for the sake of stirring is evil indeed The Global Goan Convention which is only weeks away in London has its detractors. The main argument is that since 2006 its agenda has not shifted very much nor has it delivered anything tangible and that it does not have the active support of the local Goan population. I do not know enough about the subject to hold a candle one way or another but I feel it is somewhat unethical to criticise folk just for attempting to bang their heads against perennial brick walls. It is like that childhood story: Goans are like crabs in a bucket, when one tries to get out, nine are ready to pull him down. My question is: if we have a problem why wait until a few weeks before the event? Surely there must be avenues to explore before the event where people can be held accountable with quiet dignity and mutual respect. There is no room for airing dirty laundry in public or clean laundry fraudulently presented as rubbish. The truth deserves respect in any argument, without it there is no integrity. My fellow social commentators on Goan subjects will dismiss me as a hair-brained lecturer, or an asylum seeking grandmother teaching experts to suck eggs, or simply as a well-intentioned fool who does not know what he is talking about. If that is the case, why does my heart ache? With these Goan barbs and thorns I have seen many a wonderful dedication rendered wasteful and lost to the greater good of the community. Where is the wisdom in that? Yes, the pen is mightier than the sword but not when it is a poisoned pen. There is no honest toil in that. Just like in vegetables, they will get the bad gene out. Comments to [email protected] Check out his website http://cyprianfernandes.blogsite.com
