4-Sep-2011 Dear Friend, There are moments in our lives when we get very angry and upset with people who keep hurting us again and again. We can tolerate and forgive once or twice, but isn't there a limit to forgiveness? Won't people think we are weak, and step all over us? Don't we have the right to hit back? The world says: 'Hit back!' But God says: "Forgive!" Only forgiveness breaks the cycle of hate. Forgiveness reveals the greatness and strength of our love! Have a peace-filled weekend forgiving and being forgiven! Fr. Jude Sunday Reflections: Twenty-Fourth Sunday - "How often should I forgive another?" 11-Sep-2011 Sirach 27:30-28:7; Romans 14:7-9 Matthew 18:21-35 Today's first reading from the book of Sirach reminds us that if we seek to avenge the wrong done to us we will not be forgiven the wrongs we ourselves commit against the Lord. If we ourselves are not forgiving how can we obtain pardon from our God? The Book of Sirach suggests that we should be constantly aware of the end of our life, of death itself and not let the sun set on our anger. Life is too short to hold on to grudges. The time may come suddenly when we regret, after the person concerned is no more, that we did not do in life all we could have done to improve our relationship. Are you ready to forgive your neighbour? Graham Staines, an Australian missionary, along with his family, was working among the socially outcast lepers in the state of Orissa, India. On January 23, 1999, he along with his two little sons - Philip and Timothy, were brutally burnt alive in their jeep by a group of Hindu fundamentalists led by one Dara Singh. The aftermath of this gory incident was nationally televised. What moved us to tears when we watched TV was the sight of Mrs. Staines asking Jesus to forgive her husband's murderers. She prayed that Jesus might touch the heart of these men (murderers) so that they may not do to others what they had done to her husband and children. In the brutal murder of Mr. Staines and his children by Dara Singh and his gang, we see the triumph of barbarism, and in the forgiveness of Mrs. Staines, we see the triumph of faith and goodness; we see in her forgiveness the triumph of the human spirit touched by Christ. John Rose in 'John's Sunday Homilies' In the Gospel it is ironic that Peter should ask Jesus about forgiving others; after the resurrection he would be the first one to need the Lord's forgiveness. The Jewish Law allowed people to retaliate in some circumstances so Peter thought he was being very generous when he suggested that forgiving a person who had repeatedly done wrong, seven times would be the upper limit. Peter expected Jesus to praise him for his generosity in forgiveness. Jesus instead raises the upper limit: "Not seven times, but I tell you, seventy-seven times!" There can be, there has to be no limit to forgiveness, -that is the way God forgives and we are called to be God-like in our forgiveness of others. To illustrate the point Jesus tells the parable of the unforgiving steward and the point to be underlined is the huge debt he was forgiven and how little he himself was ready to forgive. According to oriental tradition, the king had every right to order his official to be sold, along with his wife and children and all his property, in payment of the debt. The guilty official threw himself at the mercy of the king who had pity on him and forgave him everything. What the servant owed the official was a much smaller amount than the official owed the king. Yet despite the servant's plea the official put him in prison until his relatives and friends would get him the money. That official stood condemned because he was not mindful of how much he himself had been forgiven by the king. We cannot take the forgiveness of God for granted and abuse his generosity. We might be quick in our condemnation of the official but we must remember that sometimes we ourselves can be hard, cold and unforgiving, especially when the offence has been repeated once too often. Yet, forgiveness is accepting an apology graciously at face value without wanting to test it out. Ultimately forgiveness is a way of living, a way of choosing to respond with love no matter what the response, it goes on no matter what the price. Forgive and forget Our response to being wronged, to having a precious trust betrayed, to our own facilities, is often a mixture of resentment, disappointment, anger, despair, mixed in with a craving for justice and a seedling of forgiveness struggling for survival someplace in our emotionally turbulent hearts. It is vital for our wellbeing that this seedling not only survives but triumphs. Justice is essential, reasonable, arguable and human. Forgiveness is mysterious, exciting, energising, life-giving, painful and divine. It is a response of love. There are aspects to forgiveness that are inextricably linked, the willingness to forgive others and the openness to accept forgiveness oneself. Both aspects grow or decline together within each heart. As long as we refuse to even try to forgive another, we become incapable of forgiving ourselves or of allowing another to forgive us. On the other hand, every time we forgive we open ourselves to be filled with peace. Forgiveness like love is a mystery. It goes beyond justice, apology and retribution. It is appreciated through being experienced. It cannot be measured or counted. Hence, the command of Jesus in this weekend's gospel is to forgive unconditionally again and again so that out hearts may be enriched beyond all understanding. Tom Clancy in 'Living the Word' Asking for forgiveness Once in Poland an elderly rabbi boarded a train to travel home to Warsaw. He entered a compartment in which three salesmen were playing cards. In need for a foursome, the salesmen asked the rabbi to join in, but he politely refused, saying he had been busy all day and needed to catch up on his prayers, and that in any case he didn't play cards. They tried to persuade him, but he still refused. At this they got very hostile and started to abuse him. When he still refused, they threw him out of the compartment, so that he had to stand in the corridor for the rest of the journey. On arriving at Warsaw the rabbi got off the train. So too did the salesmen. The rabbi was met by a large crowd of his followers. On seeing this one of the salesmen asked, 'Who is that man?' 'That's Rabbi Solomon, the most revered rabbi in the whole of Poland,' came the answer. On hearing this, the man regretted what he had done. He had no idea who he had offended. So he quickly went up to the rabbi and asked for forgiveness. However, the rabbi refused to forgive him. The rabbi's followers were taken aback at this. They couldn't figure out how their rabbi, a man renowned for his gentleness and holiness, could refuse to forgive someone. So they asked him, 'When someone who has offended us asks for forgiveness, should we not forgive him?' 'Yes,' the rabbi replied. 'Well then, why didn't you forgive that man?' 'I cannot forgive him. The salesmen didn't offend me, the chief rabbi of Warsaw. He offended a common man. Let him go to him and ask for forgiveness.' Flor McCarthy in 'New Sunday and Holy Day Liturgies' Power to forgive Corrie ten Boom lived in Amsterdam in the Netherlands during World War II. Her family owned a watchmaker's shop. When the Nazis occupied the Netherlands, her family began to help Jews, who were systematically being rounded up and sent to death camps. Eventually someone turned the family in, and they were sent off to concentration camps. Corrie and her sister, Betsy, were sent to the infamous Ravensbruck camp. Only Corrie survived the family ordeal. After the war she travelled about Europe, lecturing on forgiveness and reconciliation. After one talk in Munich, Germany, a man came forward to thank her for the talk. Corrie couldn't believer her eyes. He was one of the Nazi guards who used to stand duty in the women's shower room at Ravensbruck. The man reached out to shake Corrie's hand. Corrie froze, unable to take his hand. The horror of the camp and the death of her sister leaped back into her memory. She was filled with resentment and revulsion. Corrie couldn't believe her response. She had just given a moving talk on forgiveness, and now she herself couldn't forgive someone. She was emotionally blocked, unable to shake the guard's hand. As Corrie stood there, frozen, she began to pray silently: At that moment, she said, her hand, as if empowered by another source, took the guard's hand in true forgiveness. At that moment she discovered a great truth. It is not on our own forgiveness that healing in our world hinges, but on His. When Jesus commands us to love our enemies, he gives along with the command the grace we will need to forgive them. Mark Link in 'Sunday Homilies' When did you last forgive? You may remember the story of the grandmother celebrating her golden wedding anniversary who told the secret of her long and happy marriage. "On my wedding day, I decided to make a list often of my husband's faults which, for the sake of the marriage, I would overlook." A guest asked the woman what some of the faults she had chosen to overlook were. The grandmother replied, "To tell you the truth, I never did get around to making that list. But whenever my husband did something that made me hopping mad, I would say to myself, "Lucky for him that's one of the ten. Application: When was the last time it was very difficult to forgive? If we did forgive, how did it feel? Gerard Fuller in 'Stories for all Seasons' God's forgiving love Perugini, an Italian painter of the Middle Ages, stopped going for confession because he felt that people stayed away from the sacrament hoping to confess just before they died as a kind of ticket to heaven. Perugini considered it sacrilegious to go to confession if, out of fear, he were seeking to save his skin. Not knowing his inner disposition, his wife inquired whether he was not afraid of dying unconfessed. Perugini replied, "Darling, my job is to paint and I've excelled as a painter. God's profession is to forgive and if God is good at his job as I've been at mine, I've no reason to be afraid!"-The book "An Interrupted Life" is a beautiful testament of a Dutch Jewess, Etty Hillesum (27), who died in the Auschwitz concentration camp in 1943. Despite the sufferings she underwent she wrote: "It's too easy to turn your hatred loose on the outside, to live for nothing but the moment of revenge. Despite all the suffering and injustice, I cannot hate others." She forgave her tormentors because of her communion with a compassionate God. Francis Gonsalves in 'Sunday Seeds for Gospel Deeds' Won't you forgive? Two neighbours had a lifelong quarrel. One of them became gravely ill. His wife called the priest and explained to him, "Father, Pat has been fighting with Mike for years. Pat is going to die. Can't you patch up their quarrel?" After much persuasion the priest induced the dying Pat to call in Mike for reconciliation. In a few minutes, Mike was at the bedside. He suggested, "Let's us make up, Pal. Let bygones be bygones." Pat agreed rather reluctantly. Mike prepared to leave. As he approached the door, Pat raised himself on one elbow in bed and shaking his other fist at Mike, he shouted, "Remember, Mike, this count only in case I die." -None of us finds forgiveness easy and cheap. When people treat us unjustly, everything inside us screams for revenge. A father, whose son had been murdered, confessed his anger and his desire to throttle the perpetrator when he said "I can never forgive them." Many people regard it as their right to return evil for evil; if they cannot they feel they have lost their freedom. Hatred is settled anger and the desire to hold hatred against someone who has injured us lies deep in the human heart. Vima Dasan in 'His Word Lives' May we be courageous to forgive and let go of our hurt feelings!
Fr. Jude Botelho [email protected] PS. The stories, incidents and anecdotes used in the reflections have been collected over the years from books as well as from sources over the net and from e-mails received. Every effort is made to acknowledge authors whenever possible. If you send in stories or illustrations I would be grateful if you could quote the source as well so that they can be acknowledged if used in these reflections. These reflections are also available on my web site www.netforlife. net Thank you.
