“Não pode ser”By: Bennet Paes, Assolna
“Bom dia, Senhor Pais.”
“You said in your book: “SIMPLY MY WAY” that Goans are still leaving ‘a nossa
Goa’ in droves. If that be true, how come I have been celebrating the last
sixty years of this dilapidated democracy, with my diaries overfilled with
dates of Goan births, baptisms, engagements, marriages, divorces and finally,
with RIP’s on their tombstones?”
“ Yes, good morning, Mr. Freitas.”
“What I said in my book is true without doubt. I can prove it from the daily
queues for acquiring passports at the Portuguese consulate in Panjim. The
queues are so long that their tail-ends (metaphorically speaking) wag as far as
the other side of Assolna bridge - a good 40 kms distance as the crow flies.
Add to that the queues for Indian passports, and the total could well fall on
this side of river Sal.”
“However, to cut this long-distance story short, the Goan exodus equals in
strength to that of the non-Goan passportless gatecrash into Goa. Sir Isaac
Newton’s theory of gravitation: ‘what goes up must come down’ may have been
found rather flawed, but Sir Digairon Kamat’s law of equal proportion: ‘what
goes out must come in’ seems to be flawlessly coherent with corruption.”
“As for the second part, I cannot really figure out why you have to keep
logging journeys of all human beings from their cradles to their graves, unless
you are being paid to vote for Congress’ return journey to Porvorim.”
“Não, Senhor, nunca pode ser”. “First of all, I hate this government, or for
that matter, all governments that have the tag of democracy sticking out of
their tongues and corruption hidden behind their teeth.”
“Secondly, I have it in my genes never to accept favours from corrupt
governments, although it is rumoured that my grandfather, the late Jose Maria
Coração de Jesus Freitas, and his five brothers and four sisters did extend
their hands for Portuguese handouts. That’s because the Portuguese dictatorship
lured them into it, or else they would have to jump onto a sailing ship and
head off to Africa.”
“But my grandfather and his clan were endowed with God-given wisdom. We all
stayed behind, got ourselves big houses in the bargain, and lorded over huge
chunks of ‘propriedades’. Not only that. Our families increased and multiplied,
in conformance with the book of Genesis (chapter 9). As a result, today our
combined headcount can easily dwarf the seat-count at the Royal Albert Hall in
Westminster, London.”
“And the best part of it all is this: the Freitas generation will not dare
leave ‘a nossa Goa’ even if those queues you mentioned about, extend from
Panjim to Cabo de Rama. That will also explain why my diaries keep competing
with the likes of Almanaque de Parede.”
P.S. "SIMPLY MY WAY" is the title of my book, available at: Broadway, Panjim,
The other Book Store, Mapusa or at Confidant, Margao. Also online with
Crossword and Flipkart
www.bennetpaes.com
www.flipkart.com/books/9381205235
www.crossword.in/books/spartan/p-books-9789381205235.html
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