Interview With Madam Vidya
I had just finished reading Cecil's "Black is Black" and was still smiling to
myself when my phone rang, "known number" flashed on my mobile so I did not
want to take the call but after continuous ringing and much thought I accepted
it and said "hello, who is it ?"
Caller : Hallo, is this Freddy Agnelo Fernandes ? (Was the abrupt reply from
the other end, it was surely a woman talking but the voice was harsh as though
she was in a fighting mood. I was trying to figure why this women was talking
to me in such a harsh tone, even then I retained my civility.)
Freddy : Yes its me alright but could you be kind enough to tell who is it,
that I am speaking to ?
Caller: Freddy, keep the pleasantries aside, this is Vidya speaking she
replied promptly.
Freddy: Vidya ? Who Vidya, I do not know any Vidya (I was confused, Vidya Balan
was busy enjoying the success of Dirty Pictures and there was no chance of her
calling me, I am no where near Sid or Shahid)
Caller: Volkonaim re maka, I am Madam Vidya from Cruz Nagar (My mouth went
dry, that was certainly the north-central accent, it was one thing to write
about people from the confines of your room far away and it was certainly a
different ball game to talk to the mother of a well know, "you know who"
directly on the phone, I was lost for words, yes ofcourse, I was scared,
thinking about what her son might do to me.)
Freddy : Madam Vidya, who gave you my number ? (Politely)
M Vidya : Baba from the internet (she was laughing, s--t, it would have been
better if I had remained anonymous or operated under a false name. I mustered
all the courage I had.)
Freddy : Madam Vidya, what can I do for you?"
M Vidya : Now you come to the point, I read your big big articles on internet
and news papers so I want you to write one on me.
Freddy : What do you want me write ? (I wanted to get this call done with as
fast as possible)
M Vidya : I want you to interview me
Freddy : Madam Vidya, there are a lot of journalists in Goa they could help,
why me ? (I was thinking of interview I had just read on the net.)
M Vidya : I want you to write because you have been writing a lot against all
the Ministers, the CM and that double crossing terrorist dog who attacked the
defense depot, so will you do it for me ?
Freddy : yeeeees (Without thinking)
M Vidya : So let's start. (As abruptly as the first hallo)
Freddy : Madam Vidya, before we start, I must tell you that my battery is weak
and could go off anytime and secondly do you want the interview in English or
Konkani ?
M Vidya : What Konkani man ? Arre Freddy, if "botte" like the "Randukor" who is
roaming with "laitao", the other one "chedvam poder, ratol, that terrorist dog
who attacked defense depot and our "matka" king from Vonda can give interviews
in English, you think I cannot ? Go, ask me in English ?
Freddy : Ok madam Vidya, I will ask you some questions and what we talk will be
recorded on my mob..... (she did not let me finish)
M Vidya : You don't ask your own questions, I will tell you what to ask, ok ?
(I was even more confused)
Freddy : But madam, what sort of an interview will that be, you yourself asking
the questions and you yourself answering them ? (I wonder if other interviewers
ever faced such a situation)
M Vidya : Arre Freddy, you don't know, all our Ministers and politicians and
even that double crossing dog Monty, they all do the same thing, they pay the
interviewer and fix the questions, like the interview on one magazine in Dubai
Freddy : Madam with all due respect, it's either I ask the question that I want
or no interview at all, so what will it be ?
M Vidya : Ok baba, you win, go ask.
Freddy : For how long did you work for the Kangress ?
M Vidya: Nearly 30-years, I spent my whole young life for the Kangress and see
what I got, a kick on my ....you know what.
Freddy : It must be hard for you but do you know why they ditched you ?
M Vidya : Yes, it is difficult to swallow after doing so much for Kangress, I
am also a woman, they know women are better then men in every field and we are
not corrupt like them and they also think that if they give that double
crossing dog my seat at Cruz Nagar he will help them win the Anjim seat and
then everyone is sure that if that double crossing dog keeps even a stone, that
stone will win in Palegao so they think, they will win all the three seats,
they forgot that I destroyed his wife at the last election when she contested
from my constituency and now I will show that dog who rules Curz Nagar. You
know what his plan is ?
Freddy : No (seriously)
M Vidya : You fool, can't you see ? He is not sure of winning in my
constituency, he is trying his luck "jiklear jiklo" otherwise he will ask his
wife to resign and seek re-election from his home constituency. That's his
idea, both ways win win scenario.
Freddy : Ok, What is your next step ?
M Vidya : I will contest as an independent and my son too will contest as an
independent and we will both win and then I will show the Kangress how much
power I have.
Freddy : Madam Vidya , but there are lots of cases against your son, he is
known to be a goo..... (she did not let me finish)
M Vidya : Don't believe all that you hear and read, all these politicians are
jealous of my "morgadh" son, he only fights for the welfare of Cruz Nagar and
our people, is that wrong ?
Freddy : No ofcourse not, you are right (I did not want problem with this angry
woman)
Freddy : Madam Vidya, do have any message for Monty ?
M Vidya : Yes, Monty, Cruz Nagar will not be healthy place for you, so keep out
and stay out. I can't believe that I had even kissed him infront of the press
and he stabbed me in the back, Yes, yes, I know what you will say, I am old, so
he was not impressed, if I was younger it might have worked ?
Freddy : May be, I don't know.
Freddy : Madam Vidya, what's your next course of action ?
M Vidya : Freddy are you a spy ? I will not tell you my strategy, its top
secret; you will see when the time comes how I turn the tables on Kangress.
Freddy : So you are sure you will win the election ?
M Vidya : Sure 100 percent !
Freddy : On what grounds do you say that !
M Vidya : (laughed loudly) Freddy, what you thought I am "Randukor", I will
say Fatorda ground ? Ofcourse not, but yes, on Cruz Nagar ground !
Just then I could hear the sound of the dying battery and I was relieved
Freddy : Madam, excuse me, my battery is nearly dead.
M Vidya : What, battery dead ? Tumi attamche bhurge sogle toxech re, tumcheo
battery rokdeoch down zatat ............ peeeek ...dead
Thank God the battery went dead !
Freddy Agnelo Fernandes
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