I'm happy to see Cyprian's mail shot into cyberspace with Goanet reader titled
in bold, CONTROVERSY. Nothing sells like controversy even in Goan cyberspace.
Those who write controversial stuff must be writhing in pain knowing their
articles seldom get so much mileage.
It is true that I referred to the East African Goan as aging and doddery (as in
trembling with age). I had no idea at the time that referring to a community as
aging would cause such a brou ha ha. I certainly didn't mean to hurt anyone.
After all, I wasn't writing something particularly contentious, libel,
accusatory, inflamatory or derogatory about this community. I had no idea, it
was indeed a crime to age.
Anyone who knows my writing for the past seven years knows that I don't do
sensationalism. That I am, at the core a quiet writer preferring to mull over
things. That I have managed to write for the past seven years, more prominently
for the past five, without causing hurt or calls for libel and defamation
suits, I hold to my credit. It is however impossible to be a writer and not err
occasionally. To cause hurt without meaning too. No writer, worth his salt, has
not erred occassionally, or not used words that are in hindsight inappropriate.
And if I have caused hurt, unintended as it was, I apologise.
However, what is particularly hurtful to me, is that instead of remembering a
record of four years of service to the East African Goan community of London,
which has resulted in countless GoanVoice UK columns praising them, one book
drawing their ethnographies, securing funds to record their oral histories,
partnering with institutions to archive them, travelling on foot, car, train
and bus carrying lumbersom equipment until I was physically sick, to record
them, working day and night to transcribe them, producing a documentary and
currently working on a publication to preserve these stories, I am pilloried
without redemption.
Writing should elicit a rebuttal. That is the main purpose of writing. It
shouldn't however elicit a crusade -mostly led by people who have an axe to
grind.
That a short and fragile memory is also a Goan thing, is sad.
As my mother always reminds me - today is a sad day, don't worry my darling,
something better will happen tomorrow.
Best,
selma carvalho
