It was seven years ago, in a bid to escape my diaper-filled days that I
subscribed to Goanet. Never could I have imagined how my life would change.
Those were glorious days ofcourse of great debate. Some of Goa's foremost
intellectuals abounded on Goanet then and the quality of debate was par
excellence. Sleep deprieved as I was with a new-born baby in my arms, I never
failed to read each and every morsel of wisdom. Neither did I dream that in
that maelstrom of churning ideas and intelligentsia, there were people taking
notice of me, and that opportunities would open up for me, as indeed they did.
I am eternally grateful to Goanet, Frederick and Eddie Fernandes for opening up
larger portals.
In the period of those seven years, my life has changed. The space between a
private life and a public one has become blurred. In the last one year, I have
been subject to the most vitriolic abuse on Goanet; both to my character and my
reputation. My great fault was securing a grant to record the Oral Histories of
East African Goans. From then on, the abuse was relentless both on public
forums and in endless private cc lists which were created to disseminate my
many "flaws". Many times, I have come close to unsubscribing but Goanet has
been like family for so long it is hard to sever ties with something that is
part of you.
However, it is time for me to reclaim some private space, to concentrate on the
challenges that lie ahead of me with sincerity and without frittering my
energies on people who do not seek to engage in dialogue but rather to destroy
senselessly. I pray that the actions of a few have not permanently soured me.
George Orwell would often cry out "stop me from writing today, I am full of
spite." I hope I don't turn inwards, full of spite.
I wish goanet long years of future success and I hope all the friends I have
made on Goanet continue to write to me privately. Unfortunately, my recent
decision to cut myself off from public forums and contacts, has meant that a
few names have been permanently blocked from my email.
Best wishes,
selma carvalho
