i got the answer.  It is the "to" and "bcc" field setup problem.

I used to like set bcc field to send mail, but GAE did't allow me to only 
set bcc.  Then i set the "to" and "bcc" field at the same time, and for the 
gmail recipients, the gmail server will filter the same mail for duplicate 
mails.  That is why gmail recipients only get one mail, but the other mail 
servers will get twice.

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