Thanks
to my friends who sent me such important emails in 2008 and 2009 (till
now). It's so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform!
I'm sure you wish to thank me for the same!
Because of you:
I
stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out from you that it's good
for removing toilet stains. I stopped going to the movies for fear of
sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
I
smell awful, but thank goodness I stopped using deodorant because you
said it causes cancer. I don't leave my car in any parking lot even
though I sometimes have to walk about seven blocks, because you said
that someone might drug me with a perfume sample and then try to rob me.
I
also stopped answering the phone because you said that they will ask me
to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with
calls to Uganda, Singapore, Tokyo and maybe the Mars Rover.
I stopped consuming several foods because you said the estrogen they contain
may turn me Monkey
I
also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because you told me they are
nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that
are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
I also stopped drinking anything out of a can - you said that I will get sick
from the rat feces and urine.
When
I go to parties, I now don't mix with anybody - you said that someone
will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
I
donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. That poor sick girl
that was about to die in the hospital. Funny thing, she never seems to
get any older.
I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote, in anticipation of the RS.
59021 that Microsoft and Yahoo
were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail
program. It's weird, though, that my new free cell phone never arrived,
and neither did the passes for my paid vacation to Disneyland.
But I am positive that all this is because of the chain I broke or forgot to
follow and I got a curse from hell.
PLEASE:
If you don't send this by e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next
ten seconds, a bird will shit on you tomorrow at 3:00 PM!
