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Resumes and Cover Letters

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1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.

3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

5. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/resumes-and-cover-letters.html>

6. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

7. Its best for employers that I not work with people.

8. Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.

9. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.

10. Am a perfectionist and rarely if ever forget details.

11. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

12. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No
commitments.

13. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

14. I am loyal to my employer at all costs ... Please feel free to respond
to my resume on my office voice mail.

15. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and
absolutely nothing.

16. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in
meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.

17. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.

18. As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.

19. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.

20. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.

21. Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never
quit a job.

22. Marital status: often. Children: various.

23. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to
work by 8:45 a.m. Every morning. Could not work under those conditions.

24. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

25. Finished eighth in my class of ten.

26. References: None. I've left a path of
destruction<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/resumes-and-cover-letters.html>behind
me.


More Jokes & Humor for U !-) ( click on the links below )

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|  Wacky Definitions<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/wacky-definitions.html>
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Ex-girlfriend<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/letter-to-ex-girlfriend.html>
|

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Asian<http://funlok.com/index.php/humor/english-briton-vs-asian.html>
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