---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Yogi Sikand <[email protected]>
Date: 4 Apr 2009 23:55
Subject: Faizur Rahman: Why hedonistic polygyny is against Islam
To: yogi sikand <[email protected]>
Cc: nigar ataulla <[email protected]>, anuradha bhasin jamwal <
[email protected]>, kashif-ul-huda <[email protected]>

*Why hedonistic polygyny is against Islam *
BY A. Faizur Rahman

The marriage, under pressure, of Mukhtaran Mai, the courageous woman who
stood up to the atavistic tribal laws of Pakistan after being honour-raped
by a gang of human beasts, has brought into focus the enormity of the gender
bias prevailing in Muslim societies, particularly through the misuse of the
law of polygyny. Without doubt, Ms. Mai is a victim of both emotional and
physical blackmail. That she is also a victim of medieval indoctrination can
be deduced from her unqualified statement (“A controversial marriage in
Pakistan,” *The Hindu*, March 30, 2009) that taking a second wife is
permitted in Islam. Therefore, it could be said with some conviction that it
was the belief that her marriage was not un-Islamic (rather than the fear of
jeopardising the marriages of three other women) that prompted her into
marrying an already married man. For it is unbelievable that a woman of the
mental strength of Ms. Mai could have succumbed to the threats of a cowardly
blackmailer.

Polygyny, which finds mention just once (4:3) in the Quran, is one of the
most misunderstood concepts of Islamic law. It has been abused over the
centuries by Muslim men without appreciating the spirit behind its
exceptional sanction, which is clearly contextualised in the historical
conditions of the time when a large number of women were widowed and
children orphaned as Muslims suffered heavy casualties in defending the
nascent Islamic community in Medina. Even a simple reading of verses 4: 2, 3
and 127 will show that it was under such circumstances that the Quran
allowed conditional polygyny, mainly to protect orphans and their mothers
from an exploitative society.

Verse 4:2 warns caretakers against devouring the assets of orphans either by
merging them with their own, or substituting their “worthless properties for
the good ones” of the orphans. And, if the caretakers “fear that they may
not be able to do justice” to the interests of the orphans in isolation, the
next verse allows them to marry their widowed mothers — on the condition
that the new family would be dealt justly on a par with the existing one.
For those who are not up to it, the instruction of Quran was: “Then [marry]
only one.”

The sanctity of taking care of widows and their children was further
emphasised in 4:127; “And remember what has been rehearsed unto you in the
Book [in 4:2 and 3] concerning the orphans of women to whom you give not
what is prescribed, and yet whom you desire to marry...” It is clear from
these arguments that verse 4:3 is not a hedonistic licence to marry several
women.

This can be better understood by analysing the concept of marriage in the
Quran. Not enough research has been done on the statements of the Quran
which repeatedly describe man and woman as “spousal mates” created to find
“quiet of mind” (7:189) and “to dwell in tranquility” (30:21) in the
companionship of each other. Verse 7:189, which traces the origin of man to
a single cell (*nafsan waahida*), talks of the wife in the singular as *
zaujaha*, thereby emphasising monogamy. Thus, marriage according to the
Quran is the emotional bonding of two minds. This cannot be achieved
simultaneously with more than one woman.

Chennai-based psychiatrist Dr. Vijay Nagaswami, in his book *The 24 x 7
Marriage*, echoes similar sentiments when he defines the purpose of marriage
as “emotional fulfilment” of the needs of two people, which is not possible
if a third person is involved.

It is sad that Muslim women have allowed themselves to be subliminally
brainwashed into becoming objects of sexual gratification for men, which has
resulted in scores of them suffering in silence. It is time they broke free
from the shackles that hold them hostage to the whims of a few patriarchal
ulema who have stalled the progress of the Muslim community through their
misinterpretation of Islam. Let them take the first step towards achieving
this by questioning all medieval readings of Islam that seek to exploit
their femininity.

*(The author is a student of comparative study of religions. He may be
reached at *[email protected])


-- 
Bobby Kunhu http://community.eldis.org/myshkin/Blog/

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