[That the message was interpreted to be for fathers more than mothers
was not surprising. The language of women's empowerment that emanates
from governments — this one as well as others — has always been a
paternalistic one, in which daughters are implied to be weak,
delicate, gentle and helpless, therefore needing the care of the
paternalistic state and patriarchal male relatives. Men will bestow
love and care — as a benevolence. Which is nice, but not quite the
same as giving women equal rights.
(Extracted from, and highlighted below.)]

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/home/sunday-times/all-that-matters/Sexist-ya-feminist-Whose-selfie-is-it-anyway/articleshow/47940649.cms

Sexist ya feminist? Whose selfie is it anyway?Jul 5, 2015, 12.05 AM IST

Sexist ya feminist? Whose selfie is it anyway?
No pout please: The selfie is both celebrated and derided.
By invitation: Paromita Vohra

In its brief existence — pictures with the hashtag selfie first showed
up on Flickr in 2004, going viral only with the coming of front-facing
cellphone cameras — the selfie has been both celebrated and derided.
Some consider it the ultimate expression of our narcissistic age;
others, liberated, liberating self-expression. Because women, more
than men, have taken to the selfie like a duckface to water so to
speak, arguments around whether the selfie is sexist or feminist have
been particularly pitched. Because women also use them to express a
certain sexual freeness, selfies have caused lips to purse equally on
the left and the right of the political divide.

In 2013, when Selfie entered the Oxford English Dictionary, an
argument broke out in the world of online feminism. The American
feminist zine Jezebel wrote: "Selfies aren't empowering; they're a
high tech reflection of the fucked up way society teaches women that
their most important quality is their physical attractiveness."

Enraged responses followed, particularly from feminists of diverse
race, and another zine, The Feminist Griote wrote: "The media invests
an extreme amount of time and money to ensure that all women...feel
pressured to look like the one version of beautiful allowed by
society. Social media allows for people of color, queer folks, fats,
femmes, trans* folks, and differently-abled folks to (create and) find
proper representation of ourselves sans gatekeepers." It may be true
that many women's selfies merely reinforce stereotypical notions of
sexual attractiveness — the porno-influenced duckfaces, and squished
breasts, the offered up lips. But it's also true that many women use
selfies to create self-images that are variously humorous, artistic,
deliberately ugly or plain, commemorative, joyful or pretentious.

What this tells us is that the selfie is a constructed reality of the
self. It does contain elements of the real, the authentic and the
spontaneous. Yet it is also consciously designed, and obviously
performed. We communicate how we would like to be seen using a mixture
of actuality and symbolism. The selfie is not artless documentation,
but rather an expression of who we feel we are at that moment; a
version of ourselves in which we reveal something — but also conceal
something. It is the opposite of a candid photo taken by someone else,
resonant with an inner truth or desire, highly aware about the
symbolic power of images - their ability to communicate many ideas
simultaneously. Because of its self-defining power, the selfie has
been especially popular with women, so often represented through
someone else's lens.

So, it is very interesting that when PM Modi recommended we take up
the #SelfieWithDaughter campaign, it was mostly men who did so. In the
sea of father-daughter selfies, we saw few pictures of mothers and
daughters.

The #SelfieWithDaughters campaign originated in Bibipur, Harayana,
where the sarpanch, Sunil Jaglan, has been working since 2012 to end
sex selection, with good results. The campaign was therefore an
affective symbol linked to concrete ongoing political activities and
policy changes.

When it was presented nationwide, to an extent this symbol was not
offered to us along with a set of political activities. We were not
asked to report on illegal amniocentesis, nor told to stop taking
dowry, or subjecting our daughters to poor nutrition, shaming and lack
of opportunities. Unmoored from a context, the symbol itself became a
political activity. It became a political consumer good that would add
to our social image like any other consumer good.

***That the message was interpreted to be for fathers more than
mothers was not surprising. The language of women's empowerment that
emanates from governments — this one as well as others — has always
been a paternalistic one, in which daughters are implied to be weak,
delicate, gentle and helpless, therefore needing the care of the
paternalistic state and patriarchal male relatives. Men will bestow
love and care — as a benevolence. Which is nice, but not quite the
same as giving women equal rights.*** [Emphasis added.]

The #SelfieWithDaughters campaign offered people — many of them men —
a means of curating an image of themselves as benevolent and
progressive while concealing their resistance to altering the status
quo, the structures and attitudes which will create a genuinely,
vibrantly equal society. They constructed this idea in relationship to
an implicit construction of the kind of woman worthy of this love and
care.

As the columnist Sandip Roy perceptively pointed out — that
benevolence is for the woman who conforms to the image of gentle,
forever smiling, dependent womanliness. A woman who goes outside these
lines — as the activist Kavita Krishnan and the actor Shruti Seth did
— evokes misogyny and vitriol, not respect. The story of this selfie
campaign is a painful one. Like in the photo someone else takes of
you, women must conform to an image created by others. Their own
version of themselves is not palatable. Apparently all selfies aren't
equal in the business of empowerment.


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Peace Is Doable

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