Hi Warren, Thanks for the feedback. We are incorporating these changes in the next revision.
--Tim > On May 31, 2019, at 2:15 AM, Warren Kumari <[email protected]> wrote: > > Hi there, > > Thanks to the authors and WG for this document -- it provides a useful > mechanism / enhancement, is well written, and easy to understand. > > I do have a few editorial comments that I'd like to see addressed > before starting IETF LC. Note that these are mostly nit type things, > and could be handled by the RFC Editor; but fixing them now will both > remove load from the RFC Ed, and also make it easier / more pleasant > for people reading during IETF LC, directorate reviewers and the IESG > (also, once people start complaining about editorial stuff it often > spirals into larger issues :-)). > > 1: "This document updates BGP Monitoring Protocol ..." - I think this > is missing "the" > > 2: "Adding Adj-RIB-Out enables the ability for a BMP sender... " - I > suggest "provides the ability" > > 3: "As with Adj-RIB-In policy validation, there are use-cases that > pre-policy Adj-RIB-Out is used to validate and audit outbound > policies." - I find this sentence confusing. How is: "Similarly to > Adj-RIB-In policy validation, pre-policy Adj-RIB-Out can be used to > validate and audit outbound policies."? Or can the sentence be > reworded? > > 4: "Some attributes are set only during transmission of the BGP > message, e.g. Post-Policy." -- I don't think the "e.g. Post-Policy" > bit makes sense here - perhaps "ie. Post-Policy" was what was > intended? Or can that just be dropped (I don't think it adds > anything). > > 5: "In this use-case, there maybe hundreds of wholesale peers but a > single peer could have represented the group. > A single peer could be used to represent a group." -- duplicate? > Also, "maybe" should be "may be". > > Again, I fully get that these are nits / editorial issues, but > addressing them now help avoid issues later in the process... > > W > > -- > I don't think the execution is relevant when it was obviously a bad > idea in the first place. > This is like putting rabid weasels in your pants, and later expressing > regret at having chosen those particular rabid weasels and that pair > of pants. > ---maf > > _______________________________________________ > GROW mailing list > [email protected] > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/grow _______________________________________________ GROW mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/grow
