Woman -- Chemical Analysis
Hazardous Materials Information System - Material Safety Data Sheet ELEMENT : Woman SYMBOL : WO 2 DISCOVERER : Adam ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118 pounds, but known to vary from 100 to 500 lbs. OCCURRENCE : Copious quantities in all urban areas Physical Properties: � Surface usually covered with a painted film � Boils at nothing, freezes without warning � Melts if given special treatment � Bitter if incorrectly used � Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore Chemical Properties: � Has a great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and precious stones � Absorbs greater quantities of expensive substances � May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no reason � Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol � Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man Common Uses: � Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars � Can be a great aid to relaxation Tests: � Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state � Turns green when placed beside a better specimen Hazards: � Highly dangerous except in experienced hands � Illegal to possess more than one
