By Alister Miranda
Believe we do that marriages are made in heaven, but also convinced we are that weddings are more than often turned into a hotch-potch here on this planet - more so in Goa.
Blame it on traditions or blame it on customs, but the fact remains that either or both, together with a host of other silly factors, contribute towards the cacophony that these events bring about.
A few trouble spots if pointed out would better be, to help save the blushes and embarrassment that more than often end up spoiling a wedding day.
As always as it does, the mortification begins with the traditional custom of Ross that's religiously held on the evening before the wedding day. A meaningful ceremony otherwise but the Ross has of late lost the evocative significance it commanded in days gone by. To the chanting of the Zottis, all those present would in turn apply coconut milk to the groom/bride and the bestman/bridesmaid.
A cleansing for the skin
to radiantly glow the next day it was meant to be.
But, alas, the present day Ross has indubitably attained sadistic
proportions. What with eggs - most of them rotten - and tomatoes smashed on the head of the bride/groom, and colour and even soot mixed with oil applied to their faces and limbs! Arguably, this 'smashing' and horrendous culture has percolated to Goa from Mumbai. So, if such a variety of Ross is rampant in your neighbourhood, say what others may, please skip the custom.
If everything should function like clockwork, proper time management is the key. And there's no one better person than your handpicked
photographer/videographer. Get everyone connected with the wedding to strictly adhere to the time-schedule chalked out by the
photographer/videographer.
Going by the practice prevalent in Goa, where it is customary for the bride to get dressed first and be at the church before the groom, delays begin with the gown and other bridal
accessories arriving late from the grooms house. If possible, the bridal gown, etc, should be brought to the bride's place at least a day before the wedding. Those from the groom's side wanting to come to 'dress up' the bride may do so, provided they get there on time.
The bride should try on almost everything she would wear on the D-day - the gown, gloves/mittens, jewellery and even the shoes. For if the shoes are at a variance with the feet out of non-familiarity, the resultant blisters could ruin the honeymoon.
Every bride should insist on having a beautician she is comfortable with- need not always be a professional, to take care of her hair and make-up. A trial run of the make-up and hair-styling is a must a few days before the wedding.
Do not ever allow the groom's folks who accompany the gown, and who somehow think it is their birthright to paint the bride's face in all hues of the new make-up set they bring along, to lay their hands on you. For many an
unfortunate bride has ended up looking their worst on their wedding day.
Another ridiculous practice that needs to be expressly done away with is that of the bride having to compulsorily dress up in front of the household altar, and in the full view of all present; including the photographer/videographer. In rural Goa, the bride, wearing only her bra and a long gagra with a small towel thrown over her shoulders, is escorted and made to sit/stand right below the altar. The photographer/videographer is then asked to shoot the gown and even the sequence of it being worn by the bride. Imagine the discomfiture! Nonsensical, to say the least.
No bride or groom leaves for the nuptials without being blessed by their family members, relatives, friends and neighbours. Prayerful and beautiful as it is, nevertheless, the besanv, particularly at the bride's end, hardly ever fails to bring forth tears - tears that ultimately mess up the expertly done make-up. The bride never looks
the same after that.
So cry, if you must, but not after you've worn your make-up and are looking gorgeous in your bridal finery.
Before the bride/groom step out of their residences, they should be doubly sure that those tiny rings of beaten gold are with them, or with those entrusted with the responsibility. For, a huge embarrassment it is if the nuptial rings are not forth coming at the time they have to be exchanged.
Besides taking care that the rings are in place, do not fail to be prepared for the precious moment when you will be administering the Sacrament of Matrimony to each other. Learn the marital vows by heart, so that you can look into each others eyes while you pledge to except the other 'for better or for worse' for the rest of your lives. Please save the witnessing priest the bother of having to dictate every word of the vows to you, and you will also have saved the accompanying hilarity.
With the nuptial ceremony done with, and the
focus shifted to the reception venue, the only hiccup that could occur is while replying to the Toast. So sufficiently rehearse your lines and all will go well.
Have a great time. God bless you!
------
Attention brides-to-be!
Has the MMR vaccine been administered to you?
If your parents or you don't know, or aren't certain, then consult your trusted gynecologist and make sure you take the vaccine before you get married.
For if you do not or have not taken the Mumps-Measles-Rubella (MMR)
vaccine, and, God forbid, after you conceive you contract Rubella (German Measles), the baby you give birth to will be retarded. Yes, retarded - with deficiencies in the sensory organs (eyes, ears) and the heart. The speech too will be impaired.
Bear in mind that the Catholic Church does not, in any way, allow abortion.
======
The article above, by Alister Miranda, is an excerpt from The Goan Catholic Wedding Guide from
Substance Publications, Goa, headed by Ms. Mary Jane Dias.
The slender book also features articles by Agnel Crasto, Charlotte Ferrao, Khairoo Andani Khavtay, Fr. Egidio Fernandes, Fr. Kyriel D'Souza, Lyndon Rodrigues, Manorama Bhakshi, Maria de Lourdes Bravo de Costa e Rodrigues, Mary Jane Dias, Rashmi Mendes and Thomas Lobo.
The Second Edition of this book also contains lots of useful Listings and Advertisements that could be useful for couples planning to marry in Goa.
It costs Rs. 80/- and is available at almost all bookstalls in Goa.
For trade enquiries and advertising in the 3rd Edition contact Mary Jayne Dias at <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> or on (+91) 9822168065
=====
- Forwarded by www.goa-world.com
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