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The Why, When and How of Father/Daughter Sex
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The Why, When and How of Father/Daughter Sex
Please Note!!!!!!!!
This is a work of fantasy! It is not to be interpreted as condoning,
inciting, or in anyway urging inappropriate relationships among family,
especially not fathers and daughters. If you have issues that don't
allow you to distinguish between incest fantasy and the reality of
sexual abuse, please seek help ASAP! That being said, enjoy.
Foreword
Father/daughter incest goes back to ancient culture. The pharaohs of
Egypt, believing themselves God, felt the only person worthy of sexual
interest and baring the royal children was a Royal Child. Hence there
was not only father/daughter sex going on, but also brother/sister and
mother/son. Other cultures practiced incest as well with the intention
of keeping the family lines pure.
Due to the influence of Judeo-Christian piety the open practice of
incest has long since gone by the wayside in Western Civilization. Note
the operative term, "Open Practice." Although there is as much or more
incest going on today as in ancient times, modern practitioners must
find their own way in uncertain territory.
The wisdom and advice that safely guides us through almost every other
activity in society, is conspicuously absent in this area.
Incest is not limited to fathers and daughters and no one piece of
writing could hope to cover the various combinations adequately. While
some of this offering could be adapted to brother/sister, mother/son
and so on, it focuses on the unique and special needs of fathers and
daughters, particularly when the daughter is a young virgin.
Therefore, this writer humbly attempts to offer a philosophy and
procedure to help those Fathers wishing to expand the relationships
with their daughters beyond the horizon of accepted cultural norm and
have those relationships be positive.
1. Why
Sexual relationships demand much of us. There are emotional,
psychological, and physical elements that work together to make sex
positive or abusive. Children are becoming sexually aware, inquisitive
and active at earlier ages than ever before. This is due mostly to the
loosening of some of the constraints set on western culture by
Judeo-Christian piety. Sex is everywhere and children are not as naive
as they once were. It is up to parents to temper their children's
exposure, to create an open and healthy environment to discuss sexual
matters, to develop trust and especially to love their children so that
sex is a gift they give receive and in turn give to others in the
future.
The emotional, psychological and physical elements of sex are
compounded in father/daughter relationships. For most young girls,
"Daddy" is the center or the world. He protects and provides. He does
this out of love and since of honor. He is the girl's first image of
what it means to be a man. Most women, upon examination, marry a man
who is like their father. If a father is a proper protector and
provider, his daughter will naturally accept his role as lover and
teacher when the time comes. This is because she knows her father loves
her, and she loves him too.
Psychologically, sex can be a very esteem building activity for anyone,
but especially for the young girl trying to find her way in a grown up
world. To know that she is loved and to know that her body, at what
ever stage of development, is desired by the man she loves most, and to
know that she is considered "mature" enough to become sexually active
all contribute to make a rather difficult time much easier for a girl.
While boys may still be "icky" Daddy, a grown man, will never have that
title in the eyes of a loving and loved daughter. She will grow up to
feel she can do anything.
Physically, there are many issues to consider. The body of a mature
man, father, and that of his young daughter are usually strikingly
different. He is usually at least twenty years older, much larger, and
can have an overwhelming presence compared to his daughter. Here size
does matter since at their most intimate moments, father and daughter
will or attempt to fit together in sexual union. If the daughter is a
virgin, the breaking of her hymen must be handled with care.
2. When
There is a limited window of opportunity for this activity to begin
between the ages nine to twelve years of age for the daughter.
Researchers and historians Rogers and Hurst tell us that the female
body is first able to engage in sexual intercourse at age nine (1). It
is interesting to note that according to their findings, by nine years
of age the vagina correlates perfectly in dimensions to the penis size
of her father no matter what his size. From this we gather that at nine
years of age nature has seen to it that a girl, even a virgin is a
custom fit for her father. If any sexual relationship is to be
attempted it should not be done so prior to her ninth year or else
their may be some damage done to her sexual organs.
By age thirteen, however the window closes. This doesn't mean that a
man could not engage in sex past that age with his daughter, but it
would have to have been already established. By age thirteen, Dad is
not longer the center of the world. While the love of a Daughter never
lessens, she begins to expand herself beyond home and family. She
doesn't feel she needs a protector nor provider any more. She would
also reject her father as lover. She wants to find independence and
develop boy/girl relationships. If a father hasn't at least begun the
process of preparing for a sexual relationship by age 13, it is
unlikely to happen at all.
Consideration should be giving to your daughter's maturity level in all
the areas mentioned above. No two people are alike nor two
father/daughter couples.
3. How
The first step in the process is getting the daughter's willingness to
expand her relationship with her father. To do this Father must be
completely honest about his reasons for wishing to enter into a sexual
relationship. He must explain all the pros and cons of it and he must
allow his daughter to choose how far and if she wants to go on this new
journey. This is the part that is the least predictable. In order for a
father and daughter to enter into a healthy sexual relationship it must
be consensual. There must not be any force, fear, or coersion. If any
of these are involved, it is abuse. The father must be willing to
accept his daughter's willingness or unwillingness.
Curious Method (2)
A great method to introduce this subject to your daughter is to play
off her natural curiousity. She will likely at some point ask questions
about the birds and the bees. She will hear other girls and boys talk
or brag about sexual activity. This will all work to your advantage.
Answer her questions fully and address her concerns as need be. Let her
know that you are more than willing to "be there" for her. As "being
there" deepens the trust between you, allow your intimacy to increase
also. Nature should take its course from there and sex will be a
expression of what you have together. This will not happen over night.
Relax and let things happen on their own time table. You meet your
daughter where she is and bring her along at her own pace.
Direct or Banana Split method (3)
Another method to develop a sexual relationship with your daughter is
to be direct. The previous method counts on your daughter coming to
you. This one involves you going to her. Let me offer a word of
caution. This is not to be done lightly. The method presumes a healthy
and open relationship already. You are making yourself vulnerable. Not
only are you risking your daughter's rejections but also being exposed
to family, authorities, and community. This is risky even if you have a
great relationship with your daughter.
One day when you are alone and have time, you and your daughter make a
Banana Split. As you go out and shop for the makings Chit chat with her
and bring up sex in the conversation. Ask her what she knows and how
she feels on the subject. Get a sense of her comfort level and continue
if she seems ok with it. Then change the subject slightly. Explain that
just like kids want things that may not be good for them all the time,
like cake, candy and Banana Splits, adults, too, want things that may
not be the best for them. The conversation(4) could continue as
follows:
"What do you mean, Daddy?" askers the daughter.
"Well, first of all," the Dad starts, "you know I love you more than
anything, right?"
"Yes Daddy," the daughter says, "I know you love me."
"And you love me more than anything, right?" the Daddy asks knowing the
answer.
"Yes Daddy," the daughter says.
"What I mean is that sometimes Daddys want things that some say they
shouldn't have," Dad says.
"What things?" Daughter asks.
"Like loving his little girl in every way possible," Dad says.
"But Daddy, you do love me already," Daughter assures.
"Yes, but there is another way we can love each other," Dad says.
"What way is that, Daddy?" the daughter asks.
At this point start making the Banana Split.
"Look," Dad explains, "this banana is nice, tasty, and full of good
things that help make us healthy and happy people. Let's pretend it is
you."
"Ok," says the daughter.
"The ice cream is sweet and is good by itself. It makes people happy
too. Lets pretend it's me."
"OK," says the daughter. By this time she should be getting pretty
amused by all this. She will also be interested in what you are getting
at.
"Now notice, that putting both the banana and the ice cream together
makes something even better than what they would be separate," Dad
says.
At this point peel the banana and slice it down the middle. Have
daughter place it in the bowl.
"By slicing the banana, we have opened it to make it better than it was
by itself," Dad says as she begins to scoop up some ice cream and pile
it between the two halves of the Banana. "Know what happens next?"
"What Daddy?" daughter asks.
"More sweet things start to happen," Dad says as she spreads some
chocolate syrup, nuts, whipped cream over the top. Dad finishes by
placing the cherries on the mounts of whipped cream. "Don't you think
this is better than if we just ate the banana and ice cream by
themselves?"
"Much better, Daddy," the daughter says, " but what does that have to
do with us?"
"Just like we put the ice cream inside the banana and made something
wonderful, I want to be inside you and it will be wonderful."
At this point lay your cards on the table. Explain sex as you need to
based on the information you gleaned from your shopping trip. Tell her
that it is her decision and that you will love her no matter what she
decides. Give her time to ponder it all and take the risk and allow her
to report it to whomever she wishes to prove that you are sincere about
how much you are willing to put at stake for her.
Assuming your daughter doesn't go running to the cops and you don't end
up in jail, one of two things will happen. She will either decline or
accept your offer. If she says no, then assure her that if she changes
her mind you will always "be there" for her. If she accepts then you'll
be ready to move on to the next stage.
Discovery Method
This is more sly of than the other methods. Simply leave a
father/daughter story where it can be found by your daughter. It should
be written on a level that can be easily read and understood. Give your
daughter time to digest it. If she asks about it, she will most
certainly understand that you want to have sex with her. If she says
nothing, then that will mean she isn't interested.
Any one of these methods can work and be effect. Feel free to be
creative. Mix and match or create your own versions of these. She is
your daughter and you know her far better than this writer. Remember
that above all, your motivation is love for her and the desire to
expand your relationship. Sex will not fix relational problems that
already exist.
4. Beginning the Journey
With understanding that a healthy father/daughter sexual relationship
must be consensual, let's assume that the tumblers of the universe have
all fallen in the right place. You have been the model father, have
developed a wonderful, loving, and healthy relationship with your
daughter. You have told her you want to expand that relationship into
something more wonderful and she agrees. Believe it or not, the hard
part is yet to come.
You now, as father, must make several choices for the both of you. In
making these choices you must ask yourself several questions. "Will I
gradually prepare her for intercourse?" "When and where will it be?"
"How can I make it the most beautiful experience possible?" "What is
the point of no return for us?" The answers are critical, especially
for fathers with virgin daughters.
Before intercourse begins, some ground rules must be put down. These
will clearly define the events to follow and the expectations you and
your daughter will have for each other. Those rules may be something
like:
-There will be time (weeks or months) for each to reconsider their
position before going all the way. There is no rush to hope into bed.
It is better to let things simmer for a time and make sure it is the
right thing. This is a special experience and you don't want to mow it
down in a mad fit of lust. This will also allow both you and your
daughter to back out for whatever reason or no reason.
- Either can back out until the point of first intercourse. Dad has
worked hard to get to that point of actually getting in bed with his
daughter. Out of simple consideration for him, it would be horrible to
have stop at the last moment.
- Other rules as deemed appropriate may be added.
Now that rules are set, father and daughter decide when and where.
Together pick a place and date to go all the way. Make it an out of
town trip or vacation. Make the first day of it all centered around
your daughter. Visit an amusement park, water park, etc. Make money no
object if possible. Make your daughter feel more special than ever and
enjoy being with each other. At the end that special day, have a light
meal and retire to your sleeping quarters for the evening.
Attention now shifts to Father. This is the moment for which you've
been waiting and working. Give your daughter one more chance to change
her mind. Assure her that no matter what you love for her will not
change. If she is still willing then you begin foreplay and sex.
There are two ways to prepare your daughter for first penetration. One
way is the "snow ball" model. That is gradually introducing her to sex
by kissing and making out in the weeks prior to your going all the way.
Let her experience foreplay, orgasms, and even finger stretch her
vagina some to ease her first penetration pains, but do not engage in
intercourse. Leave that for the "special" night. You may or may not
allow her access to you, but if so keep in mind this requires a lot of
self discipline on Father's part.
Personally I recommend the "Wedding Night" model. In this there is no
sexual activity until that "special" night. You and your daughter
maintain a high level of piety and modestly. This is a far more
romantic way to make your daughter's first time memorable and packed
with excitement for the both of you. Again, before the festivities
begin give her one more chance to change her mind. If this prescription
is followed your daughter should be a "ball of fire" and will in no way
consider backing out. If so proceed with consideration given to
daughter's age, and father's endowment.
In which ever model you use, enjoy yourself and don't rush. As with the
day activities, let things move at their own pace and enjoy being with
each other. This night will be a memory far too soon. Make it last.
Move your daughter through hours of foreplay if possible. Make sure she
experiences as many different kinds of sensations as her body can yield
leading to the ultimate act of father/daughter love, intercourse.
5. First Penetration
It cannot be understated what a gentle and delicate process this must
be. You have worked and waited for this moment and your daughter has
invested her trust and love in you to this point. She is now giving you
the most precious part of her body. Depending on her experience level,
your penis may and likely will seem enormous. She would likely want to
back out except for the fact that the two of you have build a level of
trust that few fathers and daughter ever know.
It is one of the great ironies of the universe that the penis
responsible for her existence and which can give her pleasure beyond
her imagination must now cause her pain. Pain which ranges from mild to
intense. You both know this and it will be a very emotional moment.
Assure her that you will not hurt her on purpose.
To go that extra mile for her, you may ask her again if she really
wants to go all the way. Telling her that once you start you won't
stop. Assuming she is still willing, which she should be, have her
guide you inside her virgin vagina. Begin entering her slow and easy.
Don't rush at all and let her tell you when she wants more. You are
tearing and stretching her most tender part. Work in and let her get
used to it. Repeat this process until you are inside her body.
The most difficult part of this procedure is when your penis is pushing
through her hymen. No matter how much she begs, cries, screams, or
fights, don't stop. The pain will only be a moment and the pleasure to
follow will never stop. Once you have "bottomed out" let her have some
recovery time and to regroup before you begin in and out motions. When
all is well, begin moving in and out ever so slowly until you both
enjoy the most wonderful orgasm.
Conclusion
A father/daughter sexual relationship is a wonderful journey you are
embarking on, but it is not for everyone. Let your wisdom and your love
for your daughter guide you down this most intimate path. Even if you
don't go all the way, you will both be the richer for even considering
expanding your relationship to a sexual level. Regardless of where this
path leads you, the journey is never complete. Each step you take is
better than the previous. The key to this new relationship is to love
and enjoy yourselves as fully as possible. Good Luck!
The End
Footnotes:
1. Rogers, T and Hurst, J: Study on Sexuality Among Children - A
bullshit title I created to make this look better.
2. Schultz, B: Sex Education in Family Life - Another bullshit title to
make this look more impressive than it is.
3. Grace, C: I See Yours, Everyday Items in Sexual Awareness- I'm
really on a roll here.
4. Unknown: Day with Dad
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