out of office messages

[Curtis Delzer]

How many of you, have been irritated by those "out of office" 
messages we receive when posting to the list?
Well, this, I couldn't help but post since it will, tickle the funny 
bones of all of you who have been subject to such, and this is to 
have a little fun, for a couple of minutes.

-  I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will

  reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared

  for my mood.

-  You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out

  of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have

  received anything at all.

-  Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my

  brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management

  team.

-  I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I

  return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be

  deleted in the order it was received.

-  Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged

  $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional

  word in your message.

-  The email server is unable to verify your server connection.

  Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your

  computer and try sending again.

-  Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing

  system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to

  receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

-  Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by

  your PC for my response.

-  I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical

  reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead

  of Steve.
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