LOVE it!

Susan

"Slow down. The trail is the thing, not the end of the trail. Travel
too fast and you miss all you are traveling for".  - "Ride the Dark
Trail" by Louis L'Amour

On Jun 9, 2006, at 2:59 PM, REBECCA BURCH wrote:

A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain
Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause
them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When stored in
large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones
(in the fabric) cause memory loss and induce the
nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have
before the onset of winter I.e. storing food),
therefore perpetuating their species, and not having a
population loss due to their kind being cut into
pieces and mixed with others.

Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit
a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a select few,
a breed of women known as "quilters". When played
backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants,
"buy me, cut me, and sew me". In order to overcome the
so called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics
cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a
storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being
pulled into their grip. (One must laugh, however, at
the sight of customers in a fabric store, with WW2
army gas masks and headphones!).

Studies have also in dictated that aliens have
inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects
that these fabrics have on the human population. They
are called FABRIC STORE CLERKS. It's also been
experienced that these same Pheromones cause a
pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when
taken home (or at least blend them into the existing
stash), and when asked by significant other if the
fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for awhile."

Written by Kathy Smith


Rebecca Burch
Center Valley Farm
Duncan Falls, Ohio, USA
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