GUIDE FOR THE ROMANTICALLY PERPLEXED, by Dr. Lisa Aiken, Published by Devora Publishing Company.
Please see below! Editorial Reviews >From Publishers Weekly On Amazon.com Billed as "the first practical, comprehensive guide that integrates research, professional marriage counseling techniques and Jewish wisdom," this book uses ancient Jewish teachings about marriage as a starting point for finding--and keeping--a mate. Aiken, a psychologist who lives in Jerusalem, opens the book with yenta-like tips on "who to be and what to look for" when searching for one's "b'shert" (intended). She then offers advice on all the details of planning a wedding, even giving suggestions on how to keep kosher in an exotic honeymoon location. But Aiken's sensible and businesslike advice does not come to an end under the marriage canopy; she is deeply concerned about divorce statistics, so the second half of the book discusses marital communication, problem-solving and the two potentially explosive issues of money and sex. Her brief chapter on how children change a marriage seems almost like an afterthought, but in all, this is a sweeping guide that lives up to its own promises. Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc FROM THE INTERNATIONAL HERALD TRIBUNE FRIDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2003 "Guide for the Romantically Perplexed" combines common sense with classic advice on relationships and communication and anecdotes and concrete suggestions. One of the most refreshing elements of the book is Aiken's placing of "shalom bayit," household harmony, above the fulfillment of every last religious ritual. She also notes that what appears to be religious zeal can sometimes be the manifestation of a personality problem unrelated to religion. In a chapter called "Building a Jewish home," Aiken urges people who want to bring more religious practices into their home to make observance more comfortable and enjoyable rather than making moral judgments. "When people see differences in terms of 'I'm right and you're wrong,' or fear that a more religious spouse will reject them," she writes, "they are unlikely to bridge the differences with each other." Aiken, who recently returned from a speaking tour in South Africa, urges singles to improve themselves before demanding perfection from others. She uses anecdotes gleaned from her patients and acquaintances to bring to life practical tips on finding out whether a potential mate abuses drugs, or has a shaky job history and how married couples should solve financial conflicts. The book also discusses specifically Jewish religious topics such as having physical contact before and during marriage and dealing with religious differences between a couple. ========================================================================== HaSafran - The Electronic Forum of the Association of Jewish Libraries Submissions for HaSafran, send to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] SUBscribing, SIGNOFF commands send to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Questions, problems, complaints, compliments;-) send to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] AJL HomePage http://www.JewishLibraries.org/
