>   "WTF?" says I.  "The SQL statments are pretty much SELECT * FROM frob"
> type queries.  No joins.  No multiple table selects, just pretty
> straightforward SQL.

There's a reason I have lately come to write code like:

        $emails search -compare [list [list = listid $listid]] \
          -sort -sent -array_get row -code {
            ...
        }

And hide the whole "is it real or is it memorex" behind speedtables.

SQL is like Pascal or Modula 2, there's so much missing from the defined
language that everyone's implementation is so full of juicy exceptions
they make the differences between HP-UX and Gentoo look lik trivialities.

The only sane thing to do is hide ALL the actual SQL behind a less hateful
API.

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