Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?" Wife: "I couldn't lift the table." ****** "What did one ghost say to another?" "Do you believe in people?" ****** My friend has a fine watch dog. At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark. ****** ****** "Room Service? Can you send up a towel?" " Please wait someone else is using it." ****** When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance. ****** "Where did you get those big eyes?" "They came with the face." ****** I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara Falls . ****** But the psychiatrist really helped me a lot. I would never answer the phone, because I was afraid. Now I answer it whether it rings or not. ****** It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look !! ****** "Look, guide, here are some lion tracks." "Good. You see where they go and I'll find out where they came from." ****** "Do you think I"ll lose my looks as I get older?" "Yes if you're lucky." ****** A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth. ****** "Has there been any insanity in your family?" "Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss." ****** I was thinking of becoming a doctor. I have the handwriting for it. ****** "My wife doesn't know what she wants." " You're lucky. My wife does." ****** We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak to me. ****** "What do use for washing dishes?" "Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best. " ******
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