TEACHER:       Maria, go to the map and find North America.

   MARIA:           Here it is.

   TEACHER:       Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

   CLASS:            Maria.

   __________________________________________

   TEACHER:    Why are you late, Frank?

   FRANK:         Because of the sign.

   TEACHER:    What sign?

   FRANK:        The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

   _________________________________

   TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

   JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.

   __________________________________________

   TEACHER:        Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"

   GLENN:             K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"

   TEACHER:        No, that's wrong

   GLENN:            Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

   _______________________________________________

   TEACHER:       Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

   DONALD:         H I J K L M N O.

   TEACHER:       What are you talking about?

   DONALD:         Yesterday, you said it's H to O.

   __________________________________

   TEACHER:       Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we  
didn't  have ten years ago.

   WINNIE:            Me!

   __________________________________________

   TEACHER:      Gus, why do you always get so dirty? 
    GUS:             'Cause I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

   _______________________________________

   TEACHER:       Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."

   MILLIE:              I is...

   TEACHER:       No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."

   MILLIE:             All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

   _________________________________

   TEACHER:       George Washington not only chopped down his father's

                  cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know 
why his father didn't punish  him?

   LOUIS:           Because George still had the ax in his hand.

   ______________________________________

   TEACHER:       Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before   
eating?

   SIMON:           No sir, I don't have to. My Mom's a good cook.

   ______________________________




    TEACHER:       Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as 
your brother's.   Did you copy his? 
    CLYDE:           No, teacher, it's  the same dog.

   ___________________________________

   TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when 
people  are no longer interested?

   HAROLD:        A teacher. 
 

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