----- Original Message -----
From: amal_al_fajr
Sent: Friday, May 06, 2005 3:21 PM
Subject:  my journey to Islam

Asalam alaikum, greetings to all,
   I am very pleased to share with the group that I said shahadah on
April 30 of this year.....May 1 to those of you that were kind
enough to join me for the event in the eastern part of the world :-
).   Bint has asked my to share my journey with you, and I will
attempt to do this in a manner that will not be too time consuming
or long to read.:-).   Let me start my saying, that at age 47,
coming to Islam has been one of the most difficult, but the most
right choice I have made in all my years.  The peace that now fills
my days and nights is truely remarkable, alhamdullilah.
   My search to learn of Islam began over 3 and a half years
ago...as with many, I turned to this study as a way to gain insight
and understanding of the events of sept 11, 2001.  If you put a dot
on the map of the 3 sites which were affected that day....NYC, the
pentagon and a field in western pennsylvania, and join these dots to
form a triangle.....my residence is almost in the center of this
triangle...thus, these events occuring one after the other on that
fateful day really impacted my life, and the lives of those around
me. As news reports became available, and there was ongoing mention
that the persons responsible for these acts were of the Islamic
religion, I found myself turning to my most readily available
resource to learn more.  (the net of course :-))  As bewildered and
angry as I was at the time, I found myself horrified at the actions
of so called Christians in some of the Islamic chat rooms. The anger
I could understand and identify with, the vulgar, profane hate that
many were expressing towards those that were muslims was beyond me,
and I realized that there would be no answers for me in any rooms
like these.  I say that Allah guided me (I dont believe in luck, but
I firmly think everything happens for a reason) into a more private
chat room one evening, where I met the most lovely group of
people...Bint was among this group.  (more than 3 years later, many
of this original group are still among my friends and on my buddy
list).  Thru this small, but very persistant (masha Allah) group of
contacts....my circle of muslim friends grew to include people from
all corners of the globe.  From this group of new friends, I
received unending patience for my multitude of questions...a
defusing totally of my anger as my knowledge grew, and a very
gentle, but firm guidance that increased my knowledge, and opened my
eyes, my understanding, and lastly my heart to Islam. 
   Along the way, I have met those that claim to be muslim, and have
shown by their actions that their hearts are not of Islam......these
people have had a negative impact on me, but at this point in time,
I pray for them, as they have indeed strayed from a beautiful and
true path.   However, more so, my life has been blessed with those
that follow Islam with true hearts and minds.....I have never seen
such unshakeable faith, and I am in awe of the beauty of it. 
    To those of you, that have aided me on this quest....from the
folks I first met, to those that helped with understanding the words
and pronouncitation of the quran and the shahadah, to those that
have encouraged me along the way, to those who refused to be put off
by my anger, or my doubts, or my indecision.......I thank you from
the bottom of my heart :-).
    Once past the hard part, which was allowing my heart to open to
the truth, I found that I had no further questions, and absolutely
no reason not to embrace Islam as my chosen life style.  The peace
that came with that decision is simply unending, and too wonderful
to express in words.  Of great joy to me, is the knowledge that my
youngest (shes 12) has traveled this road with me, and is very near
to finding her way with Islam as well, but, thats her story :-).
   My journey in finding Islam has led me to many places, has opened
my life to new thoughts, and feelings.  It has taken time, but I now
look forward to my next journey, the ongoing gift of my life,
wrapped in Allah's blessings.  Thank you all , for listening....and
to all........Allah Hafiz
                                Robin     






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