A Soulful Relationship
>>
>>A Soulful Relationship by Reverend Ronald McFadden
>> >>
>> >>If you're not married yet, share this with a
friend. If you are
>>married,
>> >>share it with your spouse or other married
couples..and reflect on
it.
>> >>
>> >>An African proverb states, "Before you get
married, keep both eyes
>>open,
>> >>and after you marry, close one eye."
>> >>
>> >>Before you get involved and make a commitment to
someone, don't
let
>>lust,
>> >>desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from
others or a low
>> >>self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep
your eyes open,
and
>> >>don't fool yourself that you can change someone
or that what you
see as
>> >>faults aren't really important.
>> >>
>> >>Once you decide to commit to someone, over time
their flaws,
>> >>vulnerabilities, pet pee ves, and differences
will become more
obvious.
>>If
>>
>> >>you love your mate and want the relationship to
grow and evolve,
you've
>> >>got to learn to close one eye and not let every
little thing
bother
>>you.
>> >>
>> >>You and your mate have many different
expectations, emotional
needs,
>> >>values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You
are two unique
>>individuals
>> >>who have decided to share a life together.
>> >>
>> >>Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect
for each other? Do
you
>> >>bring out the best of each other? Do you
compliment and compromise
with
>> >>each other, or do you compete, compare, and
control? What do you
bring
>>to
>> >>the relationship? Do you bring past
relationships, past hurt, past
>> >>mistrust, past pain? If both want a lasting
relationship, both
need to
>> >>concern and think about these..
>> >>
>> >>You can't take someone to the altar to alter him
or her. You can't
make
>> >>someone love you or make someone stay. If you
develop self-esteem,
>> >>spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't
find yourself
making
>> >>someone else responsible for your happiness or
responsible for
your
>>pain.
>> >>Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and
selfishness are
not the
>> >>ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and
lasting
relationship.
>> >>
>> >>Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the
wrong reasons to
be
>>in a
>>
>> >>relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?
Communication,
>>intimacy,
>> >>trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks,
some getaway
time
>> >>without business or children and daily exchanges
(a meal, shared
>>activity,
>>
>> >>a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice
message on their
>>voicemail
>> >>or send a nice email. Sharing common goals and
interests. Those
are the
>> >>most important tools.
>> >>
>> >>Growth is important. Grow together, not away from
each other,
giving
>>each
>> >>other space to grow without feeling insecure.
Allow your mate to
have
>> >>outside interest. You can't always be together.
Give each other a
sense
>>of
>>
>> >>belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try
to control one
>>another.
>> >>Learn each other's family situation. Respect his
or her parents
>> >>regardless.
>> >>
>> >>Don't put pressure on each other for material
goods. Remember for
>>richer
>> >>or for poorer. If these qualities are missing,
the relationship
will
>>erode
>>
>> >>as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect,
dishonesty, and pain
replace
>> >>the passion.
>> >>
>> >>"Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you
will never go any
>>higher
>> >>than you think." The grass withers, the flowers
fades, but the
word of
>>God
>>
>> >>stands forever.
>> >>
>> >>Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight?
Always to try to be
a
>> >>little kinder than is necessary.
>> >>
>> >>The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is
where you put the
"i".
>> >>
>> >>Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by the
>>moments
>> >>that take our breath away. So open up your heart,
receive love and
>> >>believe in it.
>> >>
>> >>Live a life of love to the fullest.
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