Hi Barry,

ke, 2020-03-04 kello 21:07 -0800, Barry Leiba via Datatracker
kirjoitti:
> Barry Leiba has entered the following ballot position for
> draft-ietf-hip-native-nat-traversal-30: No Objection
> 
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> The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-hip-native-nat-traversal/
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> 
> 
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> ---
> COMMENT:
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> ---
> 
> Given this document’s dependency on concepts and terminology from
> 5770, I think
> that document has to be a normative reference.  Can someone really
> understand
> and implement this without any reference to 5770?

I changed the refence to normative.

> — Abstract —
> 
>    The main
>    difference from the previously specified modes is the use of HIP
>    messages instead of ICE for all NAT traversal procedures due to
> its
>    kernel-space dependencies.
> 
> The antecedent to “its” is unclear: it could be “use of HIP
> messages”, or
> “ICE”, or “NAT traversal”.  Please rephrase to clarify.

changed to "due to the kernel-space dependencies of HIP".

> — Section 1 —
> 
>    Also, especially NATs usually require the
>    host behind a NAT to create a forwarding state in the NAT before
>    other hosts outside of the NAT can contact the
> 
> What does “especially” mean in this sentence?  It doesn’t make sense
> to me. 
> Does it add anything?

I removed it.

>    which will be referred as "Legacy ICE-HIP" in this document.
> 
> Nit: “referred to”

changed as suggested

>    HIP poses a unique challenge to using standard ICE, due not only
> to
>    its kernel-space implementation, but also due to its close
> 
> Same comment about “its” as in the abstract: please replace “its”
> with what
> you’re talking about, as it isn’t clear.

changed to "kernel-space dependencies of HIP".

Thanks for your comments!
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