All these tales are of players who have damaged their instruments
accidentally, but a friend of mine (whose name, for his sake, I will
withold) was anxious to lose his horn deliberately.

He had had the horn since our student days and was keen to replace it with
something newer and better but cash was a problem.  Part of the problem was
that much of his cash was being spent on insurance for the said instrument
and he saw in this his salvation.  If the horn were to be stolen..........

First he left it in the theatre which is where he found it the following day
undamaged.  He left it on a car park only to chased by a helpful bystander
who risked life and limb to stop him driving away without it.  Several shop
keepers followed suit as he left it on their premises and the plan would
seem to be failing.  He left it on full view on the back seat of his
unlocked car, he left it in pubs, in theatres and anywhere else he though it
might be picked by a thief but no thief co-operated.  Not even the trombone
section, normally masters at such things, managed to stand on it and do
irreparable damage.

Eventually he gave up and resigned himself to keeping the instrument for
another twenty years and reluctantly phoned the insurance company to renew
his policy.

It was at this point that he discovered that his wife had failed to post the
policy renewal the previous year and that the horn wasn't insured at all.
Had his plan succeeded he would have had no horn and no money to buy a new
one.

He is still playing the same instrument and sounding as wonderful as always.

Cheers,

Lawrence
-- 
Lawrenceyates.co.uk
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