Now, on this short, shorter, shortest day of the year, The Winter Solstice, 
 my duty am I having as Grand Poobah of the Kopprascharian Kult, the  
informations to be making to all of you of the renewal of CLAMSAA for another  
year and for eternity so, I will the mostest sporadics of postings be  making 
to our lists of all of the Clamthems, both ancient and modern, the  writings 
of I have been doing now and then for eternity, so that  your holidays have 
cheer and glory, maybe, if "Nutcrackers" you are playing or  your brass 
quintet has outdoor gigs at the strip mall or little  league hockey games so 
here is the (newly revised)  mostest traditional opening Clamthem:
 
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CLAMSAA 
 
(to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas")
 
On the first day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me,
A warm-up through  every key.
 
On the second day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me,
Two Kopprasch  Books, and a warm-up through every key.
 
On the third day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me,
Three section  mates, two Kopprasch books,
and a warm-up through every key.
 
On the fourth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me,
Four Wagner  tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books,
and a warm-up through every  key.
 
On the fifth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me,

FIVE ELKHART CONNS!

Four Wagner tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch  books,
and a warm-up through every key.
 
On the sixth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me,
six quarts of  valve oil, 

FIVE ELKHART CONNS!
 
Four Wagner tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books,
and a  warm-up through every key.
 
On the seventh day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me,
seven tubs of  slide grease, six quarts of valve oil,
 
FIVE ELKHART CONNS!
 
Four Wagner tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books,
and a  warm-up through every key.
 
On the eighth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me,
eight silent  brass, seven tubs of slide grease, six quarts of valve oil,
 
FIVE ELKHART CONNS!
 
Four Wagner tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books,
and a  warm-up through every key.
 
On the ninth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me,
nine excerpt  books, eight silent brass, seven tubs of slide grease, 
six quarts of  valve oil, 
 
FIVE ELKHART CONNS!
 
Four Wagner tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books,
and a  warm-up through every key.
 
On the tenth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me,
ten conductors  flailing, nine excerpt books, eight silent brass, seven 
tubs  of slide grease, six quarts of valve oil, 
 
FIVE ELKHART CONNS!
 
Four Wagner tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books,
and a  warm-up through every key.
 
On the eleventh day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me,
eleven  screw-rim mouthpieces, ten conductors flailing, nine excerpt  
books, eight 
silent brass, seven tubs of slide grease,  six quarts of valve oil, 
 
 
FIVE ELKHART CONNS!
 
Four Wagner tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books,
and a  warm-up through every key.
 
On the twelfth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me,
twelve  jars of Carmex, eleven screw-rim mouthpieces, ten conductors 
flailing,  nine 
excerpt books, eight silent brass, seven tubs of slide  grease, six 
quarts of valve oil, 
 
FIVE ELKHART CONNS!
 
Four Wagner tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books,
and a  warm-up through every key.
 
Copywrong renewed for all eternity, 2010
 
Prof. I. M.  Gestopftmitscheist
Principal 8th horn and Principal 4th Wagner Tuber,  Schplittenotendorf am 
Oedland Staatsoper und Philharmoniker, (ret.)
Solo  Horn, Bad Corner Brass Quintet
Hornist, Broken Winds WW  Quintet
Solo 4th Horn (Leader, call me for bookings), Smirnoff Horn  Quartet
Assistant Associate Principal Mellophone, NJ Turnpike Authority Drum  and 
Bugle Corps, "The Phantom Lane Changers" (ret., bad knees)
Hornist as  Needed, L'Ensemble du Chambre des Palourdes
Principal Natural Horn, I  Soloisti di Feces
Principal Baroque and Hunting Horn, Camarata  Vongoleforte
Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn and Pest  Control, Exit 2 
Community College, Exit 2, NJ (Ret.)
Adjunct, Part-time,  Arms-length Professor of Horn, Pest Control and Home 
Petroleum  Studies, Northern New Hampshire Technical Institute, Bad Corner,  
NH
Owner-Operator, Bad Corner Petroleum Laboratory, "The Worlds Largest  Valve 
Oil Factory"
Author, "The Kopprasch Connection," "Kopprasch for Fun and Profit,"  
"Kopprasch for the New Millenium: Where Do you Fit In?" "Hooked on  Hornonics," 
 
"The DaVinci Clam: Was Kopprasch God's Other Son?" and  the new best seller 
"The Kopprasch Kronicles."
Founder, Director and CEO,  Universal Institute for the Study, Preservation 
and Dissemination of Kopprasch  Throughout the Solar System
Founder and Guru Extraordinaire, Clammers  Anonymous (a twelve half step 
program)
Grand Poobah of the Koppraschian  Kult
Director and Program Manager, The All Kopprasch Channel (AKC), Kopprasch  
Public Radio (KPR)
Host of The Kopprasch Factor on AKC and All Kopprasch  Considered on KPR
Founder and Disseminator of CLAMSAA, the Universal Holiday  for Horn Players
Interplanetarily Known Soloist and Artist of  Record
Exclusive Anborg, Bundy, Carl Fischer, Olds Ambassador, Sansone,  Val*Mart 
and Conn Artist Who Does Not Get His Horns For  Free
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