Women's english:

-Yes = No
- No =  Yes
- Maybe = No
- I'm sorry =  You'll be sorry
- We need = I want
- It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by  now
- Do what you want = You'll pay for this  later
- We need to talk = I need to complain
- Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
- I'm  not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron
- You're so  manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
- Be  romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
- This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
- I want new curtains = and carpeting and furniture and  wallpaper
- I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost  asleep
- Do you love me? = I am going to ask for  something expensive
- How much do you love me? = I did  something today that you are going 
to hate
- I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game
on 
TV
- You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
 Are you listening to me? = Too  late, you're dead!


Men's english:

- I'm   hungry = I'm hungry
- I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
- I'm tired = I'm tired
- Do you want to go to  a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with
you
- Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with
you
- Can I call you sometime? = I'd  eventually like to have sex with you
- May I have this  dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
- Nice dress = Nice cleavage
- What's wrong? = What  stupid self inflicted psychological trauma is it

now?
- What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the  question
- I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
- I love you = Let's have sex now!
- I love you too = Okay, I said it. Now can we have sex?
- Yes,  I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before but
who 
cares anyway  - let's just have sex!
- Let's talk =  I'll impress you by showing you that I am a deep guy
then 
maybe,  sex?
- Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal  for you to have sex
with 
others
- I don't think  that that blouse and skirt go well together = I'm gay,
no sex  
thanks

THE END

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