Hi Tom,
I have reflected your comments with the revised draft:
https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-i2nsf-capability-data-model-09

I put my answers inline below.


On Thu, Aug 27, 2020 at 6:29 PM tom petch <[email protected]> wrote:

> Looking at the YANG:
>
> RFC4443 is referenced and so must be in the I-D References

 => This RFC4443 is included in the Normative References.

>
> RFC790 is referenced but this is now online under IANA - you can see the
>
=> This RFC790 is included in the Normative References with its URL.


> IANA reference in
>               draft-ietf-i2nsf-sdn-ipsec-flow-protection-08
> but that I-D needs to add it to the I-D references as this one will need
> to; I note that this announcement flags it as a downref but think that
> that is misguided -  it needs replacing.
>
 => Could you clarify this question?
      I put the reference to draft-ietf-i2nsf-sdn-ipsec-flow-protection-08
in the draft.

>
> IPsec is the correct spelling - there are some IPSec in YANG
> description clauses
>
 => IPsec is used instead of IPSec.

>
> Figure 8
>     2.  The location of the NSF is 221.159.112.140.
> This address does not appear in the XML, nor is it an address reserved
> for use in documentation AFAICT; in fact, I cannot see any ipaddress
> anywhere in this I-D
>
 => I put the following text for an actual IPv4 address for documentation
      in Appendix 5:

     The IPv4 address of the NSF is assumed to be 192.0.2.11 [RFC5737].
     Also, the IPv6 address of the NSF is assumed to be 2001:DB8:0:1::11
[RFC3849].

     ---
     In addition, I added the XML examples of IPv6 as well as those of IPv4
in Appendix A
     with Figure 5 and Figure 7.


>
> s.2 correctly cites RFC8174 but does not use the text prescribed there.
>
  => I removed RFC8174 from the draft.

>
>   ' identity system-event-capability'
> references system-alarm - system event would seem more apt. More
> generally, these references for identity could be more specific, e.g
>    identity access-violation
> could reference 'access-violation ' rather than the more generic 'system
> event'
>
>   => I tried to improve the descriptions of the events and alarms above.

       Thanks for your valuable comments.

       Best Regards,
       Paul


> Tom Petch
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "The IESG" <[email protected]>
> To: "IETF-Announce" <[email protected]>
> Cc: <[email protected]>; <[email protected]>;
> <[email protected]>;
> <[email protected]>; "Linda Dunbar" <[email protected]>
> Sent: Tuesday, August 25, 2020 6:59 PM
>
> > The IESG has received a request from the Interface to Network Security
> > Functions WG (i2nsf) to consider the following document: - 'I2NSF
> Capability
> > YANG Data Model'
> >   <draft-ietf-i2nsf-capability-data-model-08.txt> as Proposed Standard
> >
> > The IESG plans to make a decision in the next few weeks, and solicits
> final
> > comments on this action. Please send substantive comments to the
> > [email protected] mailing lists by 2020-09-08. Exceptionally,
> comments may
> > be sent to [email protected] instead. In either case, please retain the
> beginning
> > of the Subject line to allow automated sorting.
> >
> > Abstract
> >
> >
> >    This document defines a YANG data model for the capabilities of
> >    various Network Security Functions (NSFs) in the Interface to
> Network
> >    Security Functions (I2NSF) framework to centrally manage the
> >    capabilities of the various NSFs.
> >
> > The file can be obtained via
> >
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-i2nsf-capability-data-model/
> >
> >
> > The following IPR Declarations may be related to this I-D:
> >
> >    https://datatracker.ietf.org/ipr/3556/
> >    https://datatracker.ietf.org/ipr/3606/
> >
> > The document contains these normative downward references.
> > See RFC 3967 for additional information:
> >     rfc8329: Framework for Interface to Network Security Functions
> (Informational - IETF stream)
> >     rfc8192: Interface to Network Security Functions (I2NSF): Problem
> Statement and Use Cases (Informational - IETF stream)
> >     rfc790: Assigned numbers (Historic - Legacy stream)
> >     rfc3444: On the Difference between Information Models and Data
> Models (Informational - IETF stream)
> >     draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-monitoring-data-model: I2NSF NSF Monitoring
> YANG Data Model (None - IETF stream)
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > IETF-Announce mailing list
> > [email protected]
> > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/ietf-announce
>
> _______________________________________________
> I2nsf mailing list
> [email protected]
> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/i2nsf
>


-- 
===========================
Mr. Jaehoon (Paul) Jeong, Ph.D.
Associate Professor
Department of Computer Science and Engineering
Sungkyunkwan University
Office: +82-31-299-4957
Email: [email protected], [email protected]
Personal Homepage: http://iotlab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php
<http://cpslab.skku.edu/people-jaehoon-jeong.php>
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