> > http://www.computerworld.com/article/3150217/application-development/but-at-least-he-enforced-programming-standards.html?idg_eid=0fcfb2f14826bbc9d194ad02238b4ff8&token=%23tk.CTWNLE_nlt_computerworld_daily_shark_2016-12-14&utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Computerworld%20Daily%20Shark%202016-12-14&utm_term=computerworld_daily_shark#tk.cw_nlt_computerworld_daily_shark_2016-12-14 > > <http://www.computerworld.com/article/3150217/application-development/but-at-least-he-enforced-programming-standards.html?idg_eid=0fcfb2f14826bbc9d194ad02238b4ff8&token=%23tk.CTWNLE_nlt_computerworld_daily_shark_2016-12-14&utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Computerworld%20Daily%20Shark%202016-12-14&utm_term=computerworld_daily_shark#tk.cw_nlt_computerworld_daily_shark_2016-12-14> > > But at least he enforced programming standards! > Computerworld • Dec 14, 2016 3:00 AM PT > > True tales of IT life, fresh every weekday. Got a story of useless users, > hapless bosses, clueless vendors or adventures in the IT trenches? Tell > Sharky and you could collect a coveted Shark shirt. > Pilot fish is hired to take over the programming duties of a departing > manager who also wrote code -- and that's not quite as simple as it sounds. > > "He had several hard-and-fast rules for the programmers under him," says > fish. "Rule number one: Never ever ever comment code, because a good > programmer can figure out the code by reading it." > > More of the ex-manager's rules that fish soon discovers: > > Never use white space in code. > Use the shortest variable names possible. One-letter names are good. > Reuse code, even if the code you're re-using does something completely > different than what is needed. > Put all vaguely related code into one procedure, and control which pieces > actually execute on a call via complicated (and undocumented) parameter > combinations. > Hide new business logic in whatever code is being worked on at a time. All > code blocks must have unanticipated side effects. > "OK, that last one wasn't a rule -- it was just how he coded," fish says. > "After ten years, I've refactored almost all of his code. I've not been able > to get through all of it because there are too many places where I can see > what the code is doing, but can't make heads nor tails of why it's doing it. > > "For example, he would code around bugs found in other tiers of the code -- > never fixing the bug at the source, just coding around it everywhere else. He > also would change course mid-development, then leave all the dead-end orphan > code in place. I can never tell if an unexplainable line of code is orphan > junk or the string that would unravel the entire app." > > Sharky needs stories! So send me your true tale of IT life at > [email protected] <mailto:[email protected]>. You'll score a > sharp Shark shirt if I use it. Comment on today's tale at Sharky's Google+ > community <https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/113252326043973101081>, > and read thousands of great old tales in the Sharkives > <http://www.computerworld.com/search?query=+sharky&s=d&start=0>. > > Get your daily dose of out-takes from the IT Theater of the Absurd delivered > directly to your Inbox. Subscribe now to the Daily Shark Newsletter > <http://www.computerworld.com/newsletters/signup.html>. > > To express your thoughts on Computerworld content, visit Computerworld's > Facebook page <https://www.facebook.com/Computerworld/>, LinkedIn page > <https://www.linkedin.com/company/computerworld?trk=company_logo> and Twitter > stream <https://twitter.com/computerworld>. > Windows 10 annoyances and solutions > <http://www.computerworld.com/article/3143973/microsoft-windows/windows-10-annoyances-and-solutions.html#tk.ctw-inflr>
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