>heh< As long as you're posting women's funnies, here is a good one
about mammograms:
Robyn
~~~~
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is
no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding
the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally
prepared forthe test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice
exercises in your home.
Exercise 1:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the
main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as
possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five
seconds without breathing. Repeat for the other breast.
Exercise 2:
Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just
perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with
one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly
back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
Turn over and repeat for the other breast.
Exercise 3:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger
into the room. Press one bookend on each side of one breast. Smash the
bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the stranger
to meet next year to do it again. You are now properly prepared. Be sure
to say "Thank you" as you leave the room.
> However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more
> attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in
> his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected.
"Horses and life; it's all the same to me."
~Buck Brannaman
