--- In [email protected], "Janice McDonald" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > i know, you think, well, you dont want to spoil them, but they are > used to you and the way you do things, then when someone real strict > and stern comes along they are so afraid and startled they shut down > the thinking part of the brain and go into the reactive part which is > not learning at all. I have a problem of being too lenient then when > I get fed up oh my god my horses scatter like I am godzilla, rising > from the sea. But they KNOW me... >
I really don't think it has to be done at these extremes. I have watched people put fear into a horse, and I have watched develop a relationship with a horse. It takes learning skills to develop the latter, just like with any good relationship. It's like counseling for us and our horses:) I have some fiesty ones, they are really all willing though. They have gotten really scared about things sometimes, but the more they trust me, they more they go with me and trust that I am not asking them to do something that will get them killed. I watched Leslie Desmond this spring (I am going to try and think of a way to go watch her again this month), I really got something out of it. She never scared the horse, she didn't get "strict and stern", there were rules, but she also let the horse have a say, always. There was a lot of "space" and lightness in what they did with the horse, no popping, no whiping, no spurs, really working off energy, body language, not even a lot of physical contact. It was really amazing. It can be done, it just takes dedication and a lot of work, I think dedication to self change mostly. Leslie kept talking about how having a relationship with your horse will ensure your safety, like if the horse is scared of you, and you start to fall off, they will be thinking, "Here is my chance to get rid of this thing!" and they will really get rid of you. I talked with Leslie about this: Dari once fell with me riding, he laid calmly and waited until we both got our bearings and then gently got up. No freaking out, we were both hurt, but it wasn't made any worse. A girl I used to board with, really just thinks of horses as her show animals, I don't see a lot of attachment to them, her horse fell on her and kicked her in the face. I really think it's important that they really like us and trust us, there can still be rules, in fact I think they want to know the boundaries, it helps shape their lives, just like kids like to have boundaries. It doesn't have to be mean. Kim
