--- In [email protected], "Judy Ryder" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> 
> 
> 
> > As Strong As A Lion, As Gentle As A Lamb
> > By Jeffrey Rolo
> 
> When watching an alpha mare or herd leader interact with members 
of his/her
> herd you will inevitably see the leader exhibit aggressive 
behavior, whether
> in the form of brute force or (more commonly) in the form of body 
language.
> If a subordinate grazes too closely to the leader without the 
leader's
> consent the follower finds out the error of his way in short time.
> 
> Whereas this continual "bullying" behavior may seem excessive to 
us, it's
> important to realize it's a fact of life for a horse. It is their 
way, and
> to enjoy a healthy relationship with a horse it's better that you 
understand
> their customs and language (even if you instinctually disagree).

Ok, I have been meaning to comment on this since this morning. I 
don't agree, not instinctually, or any other way:) I am certain that 
I heard Leslie Desmond say that if you look at a herd of horses, and 
there are alpha horses, for sure, but you will notice that none of 
the other horses really wants to be around that horse. I have 
definitely noticed this. I've seen some big butted mean mares, maybe 
they have a friend in the herd, but mostly I have seen the majority 
of the herd steer clear! There was a gelding, one in particular, a 
large Appy that Dari was turned out with, he would chase poor Dari, 
full on, and poor Dari would run as fast as his little legs would 
let him. I didn't see most of the herd taking up with that guy, in 
fact he sort of claimed Dari, in a domineering kind of way, and most 
every other individual would stay away. Is this what we are trying 
to get to?, not me. By the way, we are not horses, and can't really 
act like them, this doesn't mean we can't find an interspecies way 
to relate and cross those boundaries. 

> 
> Finally one day as my back was partially towards her she kicked 
me. Nothing
> that left more than a black and blue, and not a kick that had bad 
blood or
> mean intent behind it. Just a little strike with her front leg to 
let me
> know she was impatient and wanted her grain now.
> 
> So did she get it?
> 
> No! With that act she crossed the line from poor manners to an 
action that
> was outright disrespectful and could have hurt me. As much as I 
hated it, at
> that point I gave her a couple strong cracks with my hand, shouted 
my
> disappointment with her and sent her running. 


Ok, no, it may have gotten the job done, I am sure this is why 
people persist in this, but what else?


Poor manner? Disrespectful? I'm not so sure about that, it's one way 
to catergorize it. 

I noticed the most amazing thing the other day. I was standing with 
Rose and Zoe by their feeding bin, late, late afternoon, we were all 
relaxed,they get along very well. I was standing between them, with 
my arm around Zoe's neck. Both had heavey eyelids, almost napping. 
Rose then turned her head back around toward Zoe, and made a nudging 
motion, but did not even touch her, maybe she did, but it was almost 
imperceptable. Zoe took a step back in response. Ultimate lightness! 
I quickly took my hand and moved it toward the same exact spot that 
Rose had motioned towards, barely touched Zoe, and she took another 
step back. Amazing!

Now, I think that I have mentioned before that Zoe was recently 
taking her hoof and tapping me in the leg when I turn my back and 
give attention to another horse, like, Hey! I'm over here!, ok, 
she's really just wanting attention, wanting to connect with me, but 
it's not such a good move, I'm not as big, I'm a little scared that 
she will do when I'm bent over and she might hit my head. Ok. So, I 
decided I would clicker train her to shake, ok, she knows that. I 
have tried giving her a little whack (not like the one described 
above, more like a swat) it doesn't stop. I don't really want to 
take out the part where she wants to be with me. I love her, number 
one. We are friends. Ok, just some boundaries. I do think that I 
have mentioned before that Rose was doing some nipping and I found 
that if I softly, very politely pushed her head away from me, she 
stopped. She had not been doing this for some times now, after I 
asked her not to in this way, just a couple of times. Brilliant 
idea! I used this same technique to ask Zoe not to put her hoof on 
me, it seemed to have worked, she hasn't done it again, so far. I 
slowly, softly pushed her leg back down, in this way asking her not 
to do that. I also, with much intent, rewarded her by standing 
there, giving me a much less drastic sign that she wanted attention, 
by giving it to her for the more appropriate request. Maybe the 
horses aren't quite sure how to ask us for what they want sometimes, 
it seems like the right thing for them to do in their minds, just 
take time and think, and look at the horse as a friend, not an 
enemy, they are not big, scary, dangerous animals, they are 
friendly, social, kind animals, more times than not. It reminds me 
of "The Secret", which some people have discussed, sort of whatever 
we hold in our minds, comes to be. So, I don't really have to wonder 
what will happen if we keep thinking of our horses as dangerous, a 
threat, etc. We will probably get something like that, we will act 
towards them in a way that conveys this kind of thing and help to 
bring it about.

Kim

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