14 WAYS TO SNEAK ANOTHER HORSE HOME 14. Move the fish to the cellar, the goats to the kitchen, the uncle to the sofa and the dogs to the barn. Rotate weekly. Add a horse to the mix on the fifth week. Stop the rotation when the horse gets to the barn. Confused but grateful spouse won't question further.
13. Tell your spouse that "Ed" is here to repair the cable. 12. "This? This isn't a horse. This is a Common Black-Throated Northern Debt-Precursor." 11. Organize a clandestine Equine Underground Pipeline. Connect to breeders and trainers across several states. 10. Throw a hundred-dollar bill behind the couch. Yell, "Fetch!" While the family members are fighting it out, you can sneak anything (up to and including a troop of Marines) up the drive, past the house and into the paddock. 9. Blame El Nino: The new horse washed in at high tide. 8. Wait for Halloween. Dress the new horse in a bad horse costume and march him right into the barn. 7. Swear it's your best friend's new horse, come to live here only until she breaks the news to her husband. Meanwhile, Sue can be pulling the same trick in your name at her house. 6. Start housing the kids out in the barn to explain your long absences from the house and your frequent comings and goings. 5. Have UPS deliver the new horse in several separate boxes over a period of several days. 4. Big collar. Dog tags. Poodle trim. Insist on calling the new mare AKC Fantasyland's FiFi Splendiphoria. 3. Sneak horse in at midnight. Return to house wearing only a trench coat and negligee. Confess untruthfully to a lesser offense: having a torrid affair with the hay man. 2. Don't buy another horse. Join the German Exchange Program; you feed, house and culturally broaden the horizons of young German-born Hanoverian for two years. (You have to mail the neighbor's elderly pony Stuey off to Hannover for the 'exchange' part) And the best way to sneak another horse into the home is: 1. "This horse isn't ours, dear. He says he's on a scavenger hunt and has to find two suckers with a checkbook." " Life is like shoveling manure........ just when you think your getting ahead... there's always another pile" http://iceryder.net/anotherhorse.html Judy http://icehorses.net http://clickryder.com
