Magnus,
Looks good to me. My summary is now "Ready for publication".
Kind regards,
-Peter
-----Original Message-----
From: Magnus Westerlund [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, January 17, 2013 2:59 AM
To: Peter Yee
Cc: [email protected]; [email protected];
[email protected]
Subject: Re: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-6man-udpchecksums-06
Hi Peter,
Thanks for your detailed review. An updated version has just been submitted
the includes fixes to your comments.
Thanks
Magnus
On 2012-12-26 12:05, Peter Yee wrote:
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
> Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>
>
> Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before
> posting a new version of the draft.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-6man-udpchecksums-06
> Reviewer: Peter Yee
> Review Date: Dec-25-2012
> IETF LC End Date: Dec-25-2012
> IESG Telechat date: Unknown
>
> Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits
> that should be fixed before publication. [Ready with nits.]
>
> This document provides an update to 2460 to allow the use of zero
> checksum UDP packets over IPv6 in certain cases involving protocols
> tunneled inside of UDP packets.
>
> Nits:
>
> General: a comma after "i.e." is preferred in American English.
>
> General: it is not necessary to hyphenate "misdelivered" or "misdelivery".
>
> General: put quotes around "Applicability Statement for the use of
> IPv6 UDP Datagrams with Zero Checksums"
>
> Abstract, first sentence: "when" -> "where"
>
> Abstract, second sentence: "protocol" -> "protocols"
>
> Section 1, second paragraph, first sentence: delete the comma after
> "packet".
>
> Section 1, fourth paragraph, first sentence: move the comma in "AMT,"
> to after the reference.
>
> Section 1, fourth paragraph, last sentence: insert "the" after
> "applicable in".
>
> Section 3, second sentence: delete the first occurrence of "where".
> Consider revising the sentence for clarity.
>
> Section 4, second sentence: "Section" -> "Sections"
>
> Section 4.1, it would be nice, but not necessary to have an
> enumeration of the corruption modes.
>
> Section 4.1, third bullet item, first sentence: a verb is missing here
> making the sentence difficult to parse.
>
> Section 4.1, third bullet item, first sentence: "packets" -> "packet"
>
> Section 4.1, third bullet item, third sub-bullet: put commas around
> "for example".
>
> Section 4.2, first bullet item, last sentence: this sentence is hard
> to understand; consider revising. (See next comment)
>
> Section 4.2, first bullet item, last sentence: "an" -> "a" and "are"
> -> "is"; also not general comment about "misdelivered".
>
> Section 4.2, third bullet item, third sentence: "effect" -> "affect"
>
> Section 4.2, first paragraph after bullet items, first sentence:
> delete "this".
>
> Section 4.2, first paragraph after bullet items, third sentence:
> "mis-delievery" -> "misdelivery".
>
> Section 4.2, first paragraph after bullet items, third sentence:
> delete "that".
>
> Section 4.3, first sentence: "middlebox devices" -> "middleboxes"
> unless this a specific usage from I-D.ietf-6man-udpzero.
>
> Section 4.3, second sentence: "needs" -> "need"
>
> Section 5, first paragraph, second sentence: insert "in" after "node
> requirements".
>
> Section 5, first paragraph of replacement text, second sentence:
> delete "usage for", replace "some" with "certain", and replace second
"protocols"
> with "those".
>
> Section 5, last paragraph: delete first instance of "the".
>
> Section 6, first bullet item, first sentence: "corruptions" ->
"corruption"
>
> Section 6, second bullet item, last sentence: change "This" to "UDP-Lite".
>
> Section 8, first sentence: delete redundant "required".
>
>
--
Magnus Westerlund
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