Jokes of the day
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.
One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."
The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."
POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too." POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"
The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."
Three railroad workers, a Chinese man, an Italian, and a redneck, are all sitting down to lunch.
The Chinese man says, "If I get another egg roll in my lunch, I'll kill myself."
The Italian guy says, "If I get another slice of pizza, I'll kill myself."
The redneck says, "Iffin I get another ham hock, I'll kill myself."
The next day, all three men get the same lunches, so they throw themselves in front of an oncoming train. At the funeral the Chinese man's wife says, "If only I hadn't packed an egg roll that day."
The Italian guy's wife says, "If only I hadn't packed a slice of pizza that day."
"Don't look at me," says the redneck's wife. "He done packed his own vittles."
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