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Jokes of the day
A guy is driving across country trying to get home for Christmas. As he passes through Mississippi he sees a Nativity Pageant and notices the three wise men are dressed as firemen.
He stops and asks, "Hey--why are you guys dressed up like that?" to which the biggest bubba replies, "You yankees sure are dumb. It says right here in the song that three strangers came from afar."
Joke 2
A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.
The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said she was.
A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"
The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"
"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
Joke 3
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.
A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" asks the blonde.
"Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed."
"Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"
Joke 4
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, "What is wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes; she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.
"She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed."
Adam asked God: "What will a woman like this cost?"
God said, "An arm and a leg."
Adam said, "That's a little steep. What can I get, say, for just a rib?"
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