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The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. I would like to believe when I die that I have given myself away like a tree that sows seed every spring and never counts the loss, because it is not loss, it is adding to future life. It is the tree's way of being. Strongly rooted perhaps, but spilling out its treasure on the wind. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. Each encounter that becomes a friendship turns into a lifeline. One can never have too many, only too many to properly take care of. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. The best proof of love is trust. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. No elected body is the country, we are the country. You and me. Us. It can only stay that way as long as we care to keep it so. Love takes up where knowledge leaves off. Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. Love is the beauty of the soul. Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. Books are the shoes with which we tread the footsteps of great minds. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life. When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves. Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up Compassion alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil proceeding within us. Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a shp, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a ... brain operation. Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure -- hooking up with fat, hairy girls. When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. Yesterday is a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this day. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. The quality of the moment is more important than the number of our days. When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. Compassion alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil proceeding within us. Hope is like a road in the country: there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence. Autumn is the time when seasons merge because of bare necessity. Of cheerfulness, or a good temper - the more it is spent, the more of it remains. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a ... brain operation. Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. Each encounter that becomes a friendship turns into a lifeline One can never have too many, only too many to properly take care of. Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. Love is the beauty of the soul. Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a shp, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be. When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it and bless God for it. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money - but long on hugs. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Autumn is the time when seasons merge because of bare necessity. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? A book may lie dormant for fifty years or for two thousand years in a forgotten corner of a library, only to reveal, upon being opened, the marvels or the abysses that it contains, or the line that seems to have been written for me alone. In this respect the writer is not different from any other human being: whatever we say or do can have far-reaching consequences. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? No dictator, no invader, can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power, governments and tyrants and armies cannot stand. True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. Books are the shoes with which we tread the footsteps of great minds. All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time. Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Yesterday is a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this day. The man who says I told you so is making an excuse for not expressing his position clearly in the first place.
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