Happy Ending Shots Inside USENAME!
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Jokes of the day
A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father,
it has been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie
Green every week for the last month." The priest tells the sinner,
"You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's." Soon,
another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months
since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week
for the last two months." This time the priest asks, "Who is
this Fannie Green?" A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner
replies. Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's."
The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon
when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall
upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of
the Altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald
green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with
her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style. The priest turns to
the altar boy and whisperingly asks, "Is that Fannie Green?!"
The altar boy replies, "No Father, I think its just the reflection
off her shoes."
Joke 2 A father watched his daughter playing
in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his
little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He
went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. "Daddy,
what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating,"
her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?"
she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So,
the other one is Mommy Longlegs" the little girl asked. "No,"
her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs." The little
girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "That
might be okay for California or New York, but we're not having any of
that crap in Kansas." An inscription problem
Joke 3 According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated, "Wash. Biol. Surv." until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:
"While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible." ![]()
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