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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. Facts are the enemy of truth. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks Books are the shoes with which we tread the footsteps of great minds. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered. A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money - but long on hugs. Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back. I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. Of cheerfulness, or a good temper - the more it is spent, the more of it remains. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered. Facts are the enemy of truth. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money - but long on hugs. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'. Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'. Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. His ignorance is encyclopedic Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. Dancing is silent poetry. The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. When ideas fail, words come in very handy. When love is not madness, it is not love. If a man does his best, what else is there? I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a .. brain operation. I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it and bless God for it. The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. No dictator, no invader, can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power, governments and tyrants and armies cannot stand. He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being. I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. The Babylon project was our last, best hope for peace. .. It failed. .. But in the year of the Shadow war it became something greater: our last, best hope .. for victory. The year is 2260, the place: Babylon 5.The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a ... brain operation. It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. Dancing is silent poetry. No one can earn a million dollars honestly. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. The man who says I told you so is making an excuse for not expressing his position clearly in the first place. Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it Of cheerfulness, or a good temper - the more it is spent, the more of it remains. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. Each encounter that becomes a friendship turns into a lifeline. One can never have too many, only too many to properly take care of. When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years. The mistakes are all waiting to be made. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life. The man who says I told you so is making an excuse for not expressing his position clearly in the first place. If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.Who so loves believes the impossible. Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. While we are postponing, life speeds by. Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler. Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
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