[Iklan-Mini] SEXUALLY-EXPLICIT: Big Boners Rock HARD iklan-mini

Title: Monster Man Meat

Jokes of the day
You Know You've Turned Into a Mom When...

You automatically double-knot everything you tie.
You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes.
You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school!
You actually start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce.
You weep through the scene in Dumbo when his mom is taken away, not to mention what Bambi does to you.
You get soooo into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells.
You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, Mom, why don't you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?"
You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you've reached over and started to cut up his steak!

Things Mom Taught Me...

My Mother taught me LOGIC If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me.
My Mother taught me MEDICINE If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way.
My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!
My Mother taught me ESP Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"
My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!
My Mother taught me HUMOR When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.
My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.
My mother taught me about GENETICS You are just like your father!
My mother taught me about my ROOTS Do you think you were born in a barn?
My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE When you get to be my age, you will understand.
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION Just wait until your father gets home.
My mother taught me about RECEIVING You are going to get it when we get home.
And, my all-time favorite JUSTICE One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU then you'll see what it's like!"

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