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Jokes of the day
Top ten things not to say on your Anniversary
10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking.
9. Today is our what?
8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together?
7. I thought we only celebrated important events?
6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband.
5. You don't like what I pick out, so I thought why bother.
4. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to me this year. Here's a $5 gift certificate for McDonald's.
3. If you want me to pretend like I care about our anniversary, I will.
2. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, okay, I'll take you to Pizza Hut if it'll shut ya up.
1. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were still in love.
A man is almost about to die
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them.
His wife looked at him calmly and said, Why do you think I gave you the poison?
Why can't you be like that?
Jill tells her husband, ack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can't you do that? Gosh, Jack says, why I hardly know the girl.
I have great news for you
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two.
Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.
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