Posting from the Humorix list....enjoy! :) * Linux Accidentally Beats NT in Mindcraft Benchmark Rerun Marketing droids and sensation-happy reporters were shocked to learn that in the latest Mindcraft tests Linux accidentally beat NT on every benchmark. The cause, however, was not so surprising. "We were wondering 'What the hell is going on!?'" said one Mindcraft employee. "We did a little investigating and found out that the so-called Linux experts replaced our enterprise-level machines with sub-standard Pentium Pros with only ONE network card!!! How could ANYONE use such a configuration for something as CPU intensive as serving web pages?" Indeed, not only were the servers secretly replaced before the tests, but they were also loaded with "database" software, which reportedly allows businesses to put their data in something more manageable than ASCII text files. In addition to this, the webservers also served out what is known as "CGI", an obscure coding method that allows programmers and nonprogrammers alike to dynamicly change the content of web pages without having to resort to editing HTML by hand. When asked about these added features and their impact on web serving, the Mindcraft people looked at us blankly. "I mean, come on! Enterprise-level webserving means hundreds of static HTML pages per second out of the best technology money can buy. And buy. And keep buying. I mean, who really uses CGI or databases for today's applications? Some Linux schmuck in his parent's basement? Big business demands big operating systems, and lots and lots of 4K text files." Future Mindcraft projects include setting up a 20 NT server farm designed to act as a ping server, and developing a method for users to compose and send their email messages "quickly and easily", using only a 256-processor machine. "NT is designed to handle these important tasks on today's hardware. Heck, can Linux even display its desktop on 9 computer screens concurrently? How can anybody take that operating system seriosly when all-important features like these are lacking?" "The next thing you know," said the Mindcraft expert, "They'll be talking about things like redundant data storage and web-driven applications. Puh-lease." Indian Linux User Group -- CALCUTTA Chapter --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mailing List : [EMAIL PROTECTED] Web-Site : http://www.ilug-cal.org/ (under construction) Web Page : http://members.tripod.com/ilugcal/ (temporary site) --------------------------------------------------------------------- GNU/Linux -- MAY THE SOURCE BE WITH YOU. -- To unsubscribe, send mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the body "unsubscribe ilug-cal" and an empty subject line. FAQ: http://www.ilug-cal.org/faq/listfaq.html
