Hilarious stuff this! :D
--Indra.
----------
> From: James Baughn <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> To: Humorix Mailing List <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> Subject: [humorix] Weenie Wars Erupt In Silicon Valley!
> Date: Thursday, April 20, 2000 1:35 AM
>
> Weenie Wars Erupt In Silicon Valley!
> Dave Finton, [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> April 19, 2000
>
> Unrelated Stock News: Dwight Erlenmeyer's Rear Raises
> $400,000,000 in successful IPO; "Profits, my ass"
> declares CEO
>
> Today investors, analysts, and bathroom attendents all
> across Silicon Valley were up in arms over the start of
> what many people referred to as "Weenie Wars". Weenies
> working over at the Redmond, WA campus of Microsoft
> Headquarters(tm) threw down the gauntlet Thursday when it
> was discovered that a DLL contained the Microsoft Certified
> Encrypted (the text was reversed) string "Netscape
> engineers are weenies!"
>
> "This is War," declared Microsoft Chairman Bill "I'm The
> Biggest Weenie Of Them All" Gates. "We *will* destroy
> Netscape yet. Damn you, Steve Case!"
>
> Netscape weenies, who also share some overlap with the
> Mozilla weenies, welcomed the challenge and have already
> taken measures to ensure a successful couterattack. "The
> Mozilla Weenie Team have not taken this lying down," said
> Steve Case, Head Weenie of AOL, Time Warner, CNN, and the
> remaining northern half of the Western hemisphere. "The
> open source nature of our browser gives us more than enough
> firepower to humiliate Gates' pet weenies into
> submission!" Case then went on a taunting spree, pointing
> at the television camera and adressing Gates personally "I
> own CNN, I own CNN! Thhhpppppppt!!!" while sticking his
> toungue out.
>
> Eric Raymond, gun-toting flute-playing weenie, told
> reporters that "While I was looking through the Mozilla
> source code, I saw that someone inserted the phrase 'Billy
> is a weenie! Nyah nyah nyah' at the top, and below that a
> ASCII text image of a guy mooning the reader. This was
> inserted at the beginning of every source file. It was
> frikkin' hilarious!"
>
> "It wasn't just a scanned-in image, either," said Raymond
> with awe in his voice. "Someone actually took the time to
> create the ASCII image with his bare hands. It was
> beautiful: Art at its highest!" Raymond then wiped a tear
> from his eye.
>
> Slashdot weenies are, as usual, raising a maelstorm over
> the matter. The entire internet experienced the brunt of
> the force of the Slashdot Effect. It was a day network
> administrators around the world would never forget.
>
> "My God! The router! This purple flame shot out of it!
> It was horrible!" screamed George Guy, an weenie employee
> of UUNet, now undergoing rehabilitation. "I hadn't seen
> anything like it since that Monika Lewinsky thing came
> out! Oh wait, there was that DeCSS thing. My insurance
> company has threatened not to pay for my phychiatrist's
> medical bills; it's in the thousands this week alone!"
>
> Richard Stallman, a weenie who for some odd reason has this
> thing with large hairy mammalian herding weenie animals,
> declared this day a "blow against our natural right to
> share with our neighbors. In fact, last week my neighbor
> Frank said 'Um, Richard, thanks for the free GNU/Linux CD,
> but I don't even own a computer. I appreciate the thought,
> but please don't come over again.' See? This is obviously
> a nefarious plot to undermine our freedoms!"
>
> No one knows how this Silicon Valley soap opera will last.
> God willing, someone out there will put those responsible
> out of their misery soon. "These employees must be
> punished. They violated the laws set forth by their
> superiors," said marketing weenie Jill Smith. "They will
> be dealt with in the appropriate manner." She then pushed
> an evil button that did evil things to handsome
> international spies with numerical aliases (whose boss has
> an alphabetical one).
>
> "This is a highly critical and relavent issue in world
> affairs. Things like this could make or break the
> technology market, and thus the world market. Let us be
> thankful that important developments in the computer
> industry are guided by infantile, hostile emotions over
> trivialities. Where would the world be otherwise?" said
> some guy who was obviously a communist idealist and a
> proponent of the subversive "freeware" movement, whereby
> "hackers" hope to make multibillion-dollar companies
> actually responsible for their actions.
>
> What does this mean for Humorix readers? Absolutely
> nothing.
> -
> Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
> Archive: http://humbolt.nl.linux.org/lists/
> Web site: http://www.i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/
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