> What I'd like to know is where or not there is any sort of emulator or
> parser that runs RoR applications on a python or perl environment?

Just solving the ruby problem is not enough, checkout the dependencies 
for diaspora on their website,

https://github.com/diaspora/diaspora/wiki/Installing-and-Running-Diaspora

Ruby - The Ruby programming language. (We're developing mostly on 1.8.7, 
but we also support 1.9.2.)
RubyGems - A package manager for Ruby code that we use to download 
libraries ("gems") that Diaspora uses.
Bundler - A gem management tool for Ruby projects.
MySQL - Backend storage engine.
Or: PostgreSQL - Backend storage engine.
SQLite3 - Relational database management system
OpenSSL - An encryption library.
libcurl - A library to make HTTP requests (and much more).
ImageMagick - An image processing library we use to resize uploaded photos.
Git - A version control system, which you will need to download the 
Diaspora source code from GitHub.
Redis - A persistent key-value store that we use via Resque for 
background job processing.

How are you going to get these dependencies installed ?

You might be better off getting a VPS instead of a web hosting solution. 
And AFAIK, there is no free VPS available.

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