Dear all,
Dalam rangka meng-asimilate teman-teman saya dengan Star Trek, ini
salah satu hasilnya. Saya fwd email Novia Illyria ketika nginep di
kos Yohanna Elwen.
Manto
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From: Novia Illyria
.....
In other news, minggu kemaren aku nginep dua malem di tempat Elwen,
marathon Star Trek TNG season 7. Malem pertama, sementara Elwen
pergi rapat IHP aku nonton pilem lepasnya, Generations, First
Contact, dan Insurrection diiringi dangdut full-blast dari pickup pas
di depan kosan Elwen (menurut Elwen rombongannya dilengkapi
ambulans). Waktu aku SMS Elwen dengan erangan penuh derita "My God,
mereka dangdutan", Elwen dengan sadisnya membalas "Enjoy!"
Hari kedua, aku ngabisin nonton disc 4 sampe 7, bahkan sampe ngulik
profil Lt. Cmdr. Data, dan Don Curry, conceptual artist yang punya
andil besar dalam penciptaan bat'leth dan mek'leth (haha, udah tau
sekarang itu apaan--tadinya gak kebayang bentuknya kayak apa. Pas
diceritain Elwen, kebayangnya clurit) dan mungkin sebagai akibatnya,
muncullah kalimat2 aneh, yg menurut Elwen mesti dibikin list berjudul:
You Know You've Been Watching Too Much Star Trek When:
1. You feel hot and sweaty, you complain: "I think my coolant system
is faulty."
2. Half an hour later, after two huge glasses of sweetened iced tea
(with chunks of ice the size of icebergs), you say: "I think my core
temperature is back to normal."
3. When you want to ask your friend's permission to ransack her
wardrobe, you say: "Permission to raid your wardrobe, ya, El." (the
militaristic tone of "Permission to..." fully undermined by the coy,
meek tone of "...ya, El.")
4. You think of recording messages like this for your voicemail box:
"You have reached Novia's voice message retrieval system. Leave your
message after the command." And instead of a "beep" you intone,
gravely, trying hard to sound Picard-esque: "Engage."
5. You think of getting someone whose voice is as deep as Worf's to
do that recording for you.
6. You pick words with two, three, four, five syllables, instead of
the shorter, more familiar ones, in an attempt to sound like Data.
So instead of saying: "I can't go nongkring tonight. I'm broke" you
say "I am unable to participate in the roadside leisure activity due
to my straitened financial situation." (of course Data never
experiences straitened financial situation, so he probably will
say "...due to an overload in my positronic network" or something to
that effect.
7. You begin to use terms like Ten Forward, holodeck, replicator,
transporter, Imzadi (ahem), Ferengi, Borg, Romulan, etc. freely in
your conversation.
8. You begin to be able to guess how the story will unfold a quarter
of the way in.
9. You begin to tell Worf what weapon to use ("Torpedo! Torpedo!")
in the event of an attack to the Enterprise.
dan...yang ini agak jorky...
10. You say "Core breach imminent" when you're about to fart.
*sorry*
illy
